LOOOOOOP!!!!

Yeah, I landed a loop today (technically two of them)! More on that in a bit :)

This week is the first week of the new summer contract and I have my lessons on Thursdays now. I'm liking this new cohort of Thursday morning skaters. It's a nice mix of levels including two other adults besides myself! Don't get me wrong, I really don't mind skating with upper level skaters (if anything I get in some good practice with dodging techniques) but there are times when I feel inadequate compared to them. Skating with other adults, even if it's only a couple of them, makes me feel more...capable. Like I belong and stuff.

Warm up: Before Christopher got on the ice I warmed up, did some spins, but mostly worked on jumps and the Circle 8. Today's theme was overcoming physical and mental barriers. I wanted to show him that I have it in me to get over some of the things I'm struggling most with, namely the LFO portion of the circle 8 (physical) and the loop jump (mental). During my last practice I feel like I made some headway with the loop. I was at least able to attempt it (which in itself is a huge first step) and was even able to land a few that were two footed. This morning was sort of a repeat of that until I did one in combo with a waltz jump and landed it ON ONE FOOT! I wasn't able to repeat it and didn't want to push my luck so I moved on to the circle 8. But guys, I was thrilled!

Lesson: Once he got on the ice, I told Christopher about today's theme so we went right into the loop jump. I told him that entering from back crossovers may not be an option for me anymore. If I do this jump, it's going to have to be from a RFI three turn. So, we worked it out by the boards with me doing the three turn, keeping the free leg crossed, and doing a small hop. Then we took it to open ice...and IT HAPPENED! It was definitely more of a loop hop than a loop jump but I broke through the fear barrier and got it done! As my coach said, "baby steps." We crossed the biggest hurdle, now we can spend some time working on technique. So, of course, the dreaded backspin was reintroduced into the line up. I have never been good at this spin. I think it's because I have a tendency to work on it for a solid minute or so, get frustrated, and then move on to other things. So, I'm not putting in the time. Christopher suggested not focusing so much on time but rather trying to work on it until I get one solid revolution in a crossed leg position then work on it some more until I get two and so on. Again, baby steps and time.

And then he really threw me for a loop (eh?) when he asked me how my flips look. Like, what? I haven't even thought about the flip jump since almost a year ago. I really wasn't expecting this. So, again, we worked it out by the boards and he had me do an exercise where I do two half flips in succession making sure my free leg is in the "h" position. This is tough. But now I have the flip to worry about in addition to the loop. Joy.

On to the Circle 8. He showed me a neat trick to make my circles the proper size for my height. If you stand in the center of your 8 and extend your arm out to the side and look at where the ice meets your fingertips, that's how big your circle should be. Cool. As predicted, he seemed okay with my circles except for the LFO. So we worked a bit on free leg position and balance, keeping the arms where they should be and facing outside the circle slightly. Now that he has fixed my upper body position, it's clear to me that the problem is my edge. It's an either/or kind of thing. I'm either on too deep of an edge or too shallow of an edge. I need to find a nice in between :)

So, yeah. I made strides today. I did scary things and I didn't die or break any bones. I feel like this is a turning point :)

Attemption

Yeah, attemption. It's like an attempt at redemption. I can make up words if I want to...I'm a librarian, dammit. :)

I've been doing a bunch of loops at home on the floor and not only have I been landing them, but a few were slightly over-rotated by about a 1/4 turn. I felt like I was ready to maybe try them for real on the ice. This isn't a matter of being able to land the jump, this is purely a psychological thing. Before breaking my leg on this jump 10 months ago, it was the one jump I was the most confident in. I was landing it each time and was just working the kinks out on some of the technique with my freeleg. I knew this particular jump would be my biggest hurdle after coming back from my injury and I wasn't wrong. I made some attempts at the loop today and I chickened out on each one. The closest I got was by putting it in combination with a waltz jump and even then I two-footed the landing. Why is doing it on the floor so much easier? I really want to get this back on my own without the use of a harness so I'll keep plugging away at it. This is, by far, the scariest thing I've attempted after coming back. I'm terrified of breaking again. The way I see it, though, it's like that first fall. Once it finally happens, I can move on and skate with confidence. It's just a matter of when at this point. I'm at least trying and I feel kind of proud of myself for that. I will conquer this jump. I will not let it conquer me!

Outside of the the loop attempts, I worked quite a bit on Bronze MIF:

Perimeter Power Stroking - I worked on trying to even things out a bit by making sure I'm doing four forward and four backward. Fitting in four forward power strokes was really no different than the perimeter stroking from Pre-Bronze, I'm just adding a crossover in between the strokes and extending things out more. The backwards ones, on the other hand, were more difficult. I need to makes these strokes bigger otherwise I tend to add more than the required four. I also worked a bit on the end pattern to make sure it was correct and that it flowed nicely.

Power Three Turns - I discovered that the quicker I go, the easier it is but stepping forward after the crossover at speed is pretty scary so that's the trade off. Once I get more comfortable, these will be awesome. I'm just not sure what to do at the end of the rink when I'm switching sides. I don't see any kind of specific end pattern on the judging form so I'm not sure how best to skate this so that it flows well. That will be a question for Christopher.

Alternating Backward Crossovers to BO edges - Didn't get worked on because it was a bit of a crowded session and it felt dangerous for that reason.

Forward Circle 8 - Again with the LFO edge. No matter how many times I work on it, it's just not getting better. I really don't know what to do at this point. The other three circles are just fine.

Five Step Mohawk - This is my favorite of the bronze moves. It makes me feel capable. Like, if I can't do anything else, at least I can do this. I'm getting five lobes down the length of the rink. I just need to work on bending my knees more.

I threw some spins in there as well. I am determined to spend some time on the backspin each time I get on the ice. The sit spin is a disaster because my left ankle is so stiff. I can barely bend my knee on that leg much less sit so this is going to be a big project. I need to improve my dorsiflexion on that  ankle or it's never going to happen. I can't afford physical therapy so I'll just have to come up with some exercises on my own or enlist the help of my good friend YouTube.

The Journey to Bronze

The day after passing my tests, I had my scheduled lesson with Christopher. We did more talking than skating because we needed to talk about what happened. We needed to debrief. Basically, yeah, there were nerves. We discussed entering some competitions so I can get the feel of skating under pressure. Skating for a judge was very new to me and I wasn't prepared for how I was going to react both physically and mentally. I talked to him about the new Adult Competition Series that the USFSA just implemented this year and he told me to look into it and get back to him with whether or not that's a thing I want to do. He also suggested taking part in the 2018 Colorado Championships since that takes place at our rink in August and it will allow me to skate on home turf, so to speak. Our plan is to beef up the Geisha program by adding more jumps to make it appropriate for competition and keep it for the season rather than scraping it and starting on a Bronze program. I'm thinking if I turn my waltz jump into a combo and add a toe loop somewhere near the end where I have that long one-foot glide through center ice I'll meet the "four jump elements" competition requirement since I already have a half flip and salchow in there as well.

After debriefing, we started right away on Bronze MIF. I really wanted him to look at my five step mohawk since I basically taught it to myself. He confirmed I was doing it correctly so yay. We also spent some time working on the power three turns to make sure I had something else to work on in addition to the mohawks.

Over this past week, I have been working a lot on all of the Bronze MIF elements. So far, the thing that is giving me the most grief is the Circle 8. I can get around on 3 out of the 4 circles but the LFO portion is really unstable. Again with the left leg! I'm not sure if this a "broken leg recovery" issue or an upper body alignment issue. I'll need work on it for sure. If I can just get that Circle 8 under control, I might be able to test in December. Secretly, I've been working on Bronze MIF for a while so it's not like I'm starting these from scratch, it's just that now I'm working on them officially with my coach. Ultimately, he decides when I'm ready to test. But I do know this, I am NEVER going to test both MIF and Free Skate on the same day. That's just too much stress and anxiety. Never again!

Test Recap Part 2: The Free Skate Episode

Immediately after finishing my Moves test, I skated to center ice to bow to the judge but before I could curtsy, she waved me off to get ready for the Free Skate. So yeah, I knew right away that I had passed because the judge gave me the go ahead to skate my program for the free skate. I didn't even have time to celebrate as I had to hurry and remove my club jacket and gloves and get in position for the free skate. Even though this is a separate video, it was literally like two minutes after my Moves test. I barely had enough time to compose myself. As a result, mistakes were made. It was a passing test but because of nerves and rushing to get into position, I didn't skate my best. I met all of the requirements for the test so it passed but I am not happy with it.

Everything started out well and I managed to get a good lunge in there but I ended my two foot spin facing the wrong direction and that threw me off. It took a few seconds to get oriented and remember where I was supposed to go so I missed the half flip and ensuing choreography. What you see in the video is a lame ass attempt at what was supposed to be a half flip followed by a bunch of backwards crossovers where the choreography should be. I finally got things back on track for the salchow. Honestly, I'm really surprised the judge didn't ask me to reskate the one foot spin at the end. It was definitely cheated. Also, I was kind of dizzy afterwards because it was difficult for me to hold that end pose for more than a second.

I was very disappointed with this program. After having skated it cleanly many times in practice leading up to the test, I'm really upset that I let nerves get the better of me when it really mattered most. In fairness, the judge didn't know that I missed 5-10 seconds of choreography, it just looked like I was doing the required backward crossovers. Also, Christopher added the half flip into the choeography as a sort of insurance policy in case something like this happened (that's why I pay him the big bucks. Forward thinking and all that). So, in the judges eyes, I skated a decent program and her comments reflect that but I'm still sad it didn't go as I had practiced. Here are her comments followed by my video: Nice feel for music, nicely centered two foot spin.

Test Recap Part 1: The Moves Episode

Oh boy, it's been awhile! I took my tests on May 11th and then my husband and I moved to our new house a few days later and didn't have internet until Comcast could come and install. So yeah, I really wish I could have updated sooner but alas. Anyway, I PASSED BOTH TESTS!!!! I'll do the recap in two parts (one for moves and one for free skate).

On test day, I got to the rink plenty early in case the tests were running ahead of schedule. Little did I know they were actually running an hour behind so I had almost two hours of anxious waiting. For the first hour, I watched others take their tests and then for the next hour I did some warm ups (jumping and stretching) rinkside while I waited for Christopher to show up. Once he got there, we did some more stretching and a run through of the free skate on the floor. Finally, it was time for myself and the other adult tester to get on the ice for our warm up. My warm up...was a disaster! I think I had too much adrenaline running through me (or perhaps too much coffee) because I got on the ice and I felt powerful. In fact I was too powerful because I was skating with force rather than with ease. I took quite a number of falls and a good portion of them were toepick falls (the hurtiest kind). I wanted to skate with confidence and power but I may have over-did it a bit. Next time, I will meditate and listen to relaxing music rather than getting all jacked up on coffee. Lesson learned.

I got off the ice after the warm up and had 10 minutes to wait until the other skater finished her test. During this time, Christopher did his best to calm me down and bring me back down to Earth. By the time it was my turn, I was relaxed a bit but still quite jittery. I'm including the video of my Moves test below but here's a run down of how it went (with judge's comments in italics):

Perimeter Stroking - Pretty good flow, nice extension, nice posture. This was actually pretty good. Looking at the video, I'm still steppy on the end crossovers but the stroking felt good and solid. I was pleased.

Consecutive Edges - FO ok, FI edges fine remember not to toe push, BO ok, BI ok. Yeah, I was toe pushy on the forward inside edges. I don't think this is usually the case because I'm sure Christopher would have commented on it during our lessons. The backward outside edges felt so slooooow but that's what Christopher wanted so that's how I've been practicing them.

Forward and Backward Crossovers - Good steady flow forward and backward. These went as planned. I have been practicing getting them all at a steady speed so I'm pleased the that judge commented on the "steady flow" as that's what I was going for. The mohawk transition felt like it could have been more smooth but when I watch the video it looks ok.

Waltz Eight - Very large circles, fell on last circle, reskate. Ugh, this was frustrating. I skated the pattern with very large circles like Christopher wanted, so yay, but on my last step forward right before the finish, I tripped on my toepick and face planted. This is something that NEVER happens! I remember thinking on the last step "omg I can't feel my legs!" and down I went. It felt like when your leg goes numb after sitting on it weirdly for a while. You can feel that you indeed have a leg, you just can't feel it, you know? Technically, I finished the pattern but fell on the dismount, so to speak. She asked me to reskate and I was able to redeem myself by doing it well. But still...frustrating. Stupid nerves. I included the reskate version of the Waltz 8  in the video because that was the version that passed (and besides, I really couldn't stomach having the whole world watch me fall like that).

Forward Right and Left Foot Spirals - Right foot ok extension. Left foot (1st spiral you did) extension not at hip level. Well, no surprises here. I have been having problems with my left foot spiral ever since I broke my leg. Because that leg is still unstable, I have problems leaning forward and bringing my right free leg up. I knew this would be a problem and so did Christopher so we were not really surprised by this.

Overall, the test was strong enough to pass. It's not my best but I made it through. Here's the video :)

Ice fly (and not the Edea kind)

I skated my final contracted practice session before tomorrow's test. Here are my observations:

Observation #1 - When did my back outside edges become so slow? I mean, Christopher wanted me to slow them down but damn. I almost fell asleep doing them. I can only imagine how bored the judges will be while watching me skate them.

Observation #2 - Dead fly on the ice! I hope it's not a sign. Every time I skated by him (or her?) I checked to make sure it was still in one piece. The last time I skated by, it was gone. It could be anywhere now.

Observation #3 - Apparently, if you wake up late, it's acceptable to skate in kitty pajamas. Good to know.

Observation #4 - I can, indeed, skate without gloves. I don't like the way the nude colored gloves look with my dress (because I'm pale and the gloves look really dark on me). So I went the whole hour skating without gloves to get used to the feeling. I only felt naked for the first five minutes and then I didn't notice. No gloves for me!

Observation #5 - I think I'm ready for tomorrow as long as I am confident that I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm doing....right?

I haz a time!

I just checked my email and got my test times. It's so real now! There are 28 tests scheduled from 7:15am until noon and I'm number 25. So, the good news is that I don't have to skate at some ungodly hour in the morning (I can at least grab a coffee first and drink while I watch others test) but the bad news is that I don't see that they have a resurface scheduled at all. By the time all the upper-level Free Skate tests are over and it's my turn, I'm going to be skating on some pretty rough ice.

There are only two of us in my group; myself and another adult skater taking her Bronze MIF. According to the sheet, it looks like I'll be skating my two tests back to back. I emailed the test chair for clarification and also to remind her that I'm skating to music. She confirmed that yes, assuming I pass my MIF, I'll be skating my FS right after. So yay, two birds one stone! I was really worried I would have to wait quite a while in between tests.

So, at the appointed time, the other adult skater and I will get a 10 minute warm up and then I get off the ice and wait roughly 10 minutes until she's done. Don't you love how they group the two "old ladies" together?

Why am I so nervous right now????? Maybe Pep Talk Bunny will help :)

Test Rehersal

In preparation for my upcoming test, Christopher wanted to run the whole thing as if it were for realsies and he would write down comments and give me a score after each of my moves elements. This is what I remember (roughly)...

Perimeter Stroking - Nice strokes. Steppy on the crossovers

Edges - Uneven lobes. Back edges putting foot down too soon on new lobes

Crossover Pattern - Steppy forwards, nice backwards

Waltz 8 - CCW circle is slightly misshapen. Hold the RBI edge longer on the first turn. Switch arms at the dots and not sooner. 

Spirals - First spiral freeleg takes a while to get to hip height. Bent skating leg on second spiral

He allowed me to reskate each element for a higher score to address his comments. Overall, it's passing so I got to skate my program. He told me he was going to be hard on me in terms of judging because he would rather me be over-prepared. The judges are likely to be more lenient.

Programz - CLEAN! Damn gurl (not his words but mine). When I was done, I skated back to him and he just said "passing" with a smile. He wanted me to reskate the two foot spin because it looked suspiciously like a one foot spin but overall it was a good skate. My lunge was even perfect! :)

I think I'm ready for Friday. I'm still nervous but I know I can do this. It was also my first time wearing my dress while skating the program and I think the adrenaline kept we warm because I didn't feel cold at all. The skate mom monitor advised me on my straps that were showing from the leo I was wearing underneath. "Get clear straps, cross them, or at the very least don't fuss with them because you are drawing attention to the fact that they are exposed and don't match." I'm so damn pale that it's nearly impossible to find a "nude" color to match my skin tone. However, when I got home we discovered that I can adjust them so they crisscross and that solves the problem. What was especially nice about today was that Christopher told me how proud he was for how much I have overcome this year. That means a lot. He hands out compliments sparingly so I know he means it when he says it :)

Countdown to Test Day: 4 more days and no more lessons with Christopher. I'm on my own now (eeep!)

So Fresh and So Clean

Well, it only took me the whole hour but I finally skated and completed a clean program during the last 6 minutes of my practice session. I even had time after to practice my bow and curtsy! So yeah, 54 minutes of my one hour session were complete crap but somehow I pulled it all together at the very end. I shouldn't say it was all crap, there were some shining moments scattered throughout.

Movez - Per tradition, I ran through the entirety of my moves test right after my warm up. All went swimmingly except for the FO edges. My left leg is just a disaster and I'm on too deep of an edge. This is really the easiest element on the test and I just cannot get it right. I'm having a similar problem on the first push of my BO edges. Too deep. They are also getting worse the more I practice them so I'm kind of at a loss about what to do. Last week, when I skated my edges for Christopher, there were no issues. When I'm on my own, I'm everywhere.

Jumpz and Spinz - These were fine. Salchows and half flips are were I left them. I had one waltz jump that was extra hurty but I powered through it. The rest were good. I spent a lot of time on spins. Two foot spins are controlled and I'm facing the right way every time now. I practiced the one-foot spin from the forward entry as well as at speed as though I were doing it in my program. This whole time I have been thinking "one foot spin" but I have better success when I think "two foot spin but pick your leg up." I have become so used to entering a one foot spin from backwards crossovers that I just couldn't wrap my brain around doing one from a forward entry without a pivot. So, yeah, as long as I just think of it as a two foot spin with a leg up, I at least have less anxiety about the entry.

Programz - It was a crowded session with upper level skaters working on their programs so I could only fit in sections of mine where there was open space. As soon as I thought I had room to run the whole thing, a senior skater goes blitzing through to set up for a double or triple whatever jump. I will say that there was one young lady who I just couldn't take my eyes off of. She was so elegant and artistic in her movements and her landings were soft with beautiful extension. Really impressive. If I could skate with half the grace she has I would be amazing. Le sigh. Anyway, back to mediocrity...the session finally thinned out in the last 10 minutes so I threw some extra jumps and spins in and finally had clear ice to run my complete program (without music again, sadly). I pretended this was it! I'm skating for the judges! I made a point to show expression in my face and look up at the stands were the judges sit during key moments in the program. A dash of geisha here, a pinch of coquettish there and it was lovely. Because I was thinking about being more expressive, the elements just happened! A nice long, perfectly straight lunge, solid jumps, balanced spins, and an end pose that not only faced the correct way but didn't look like I was struggling to stay upright. I guess this is proof that I'm overthinking EVERYTHING! My body has trained for this and knows what to do. Let it do!

Countdown to Test Day: 8 days and ONE more lesson with Christopher