Saturday, September 29, 2018

Flippin' Out and Layin' Back

Lesson today! I knew Christopher would ask to see any progress I've made on the flip jump and I was fully prepared to admit that I am unreasonably scared to work on it. Oddly, I'm okay attempting it when he's there so I was also hoping I would at least make progress on it today in his presence. Here's how the lesson went:

Spinz: When he got on the ice for our lesson, I was in the process of working on the attitude spin. I feel like I've made some pretty good progress with these in my last few practices. I've really been focusing on getting that free leg higher. Since he saw me working on it, that's what we started with. I think he was pleased. He would still like to see the free leg higher but it's much better than it has been. He wanted to see it with both arms overhead and, seeing that I was able to do this in a decent position, he moved me on to working on a...wait for it....LAYBACK SPIN! Hells yeah! I've always loved this spin! We are starting slowly, of course. I'm nowhere near a layback position but now that my spins are consistently centered and I have a feel for spinning with my free leg up and behind me, it seems like a logical next step. For now, he wants me to work on a two-foot spin with my hands on my lower back pushing my hips out and with my head looking up but eyes looking forward to get a feel for what it's like to do a layback (I hope that makes sense). Anyway, super dizzy but super excited for this next step! I'll have to work on some back flexibility exercises to get a nice arch in my back. Next, we moved on to the sit spin. I'm getting the rotations in position, my back is straight, and arms are in front. It would be a nice sit spin if I could get lower. Again, I have to work on being able to bend my left leg (always a struggle). But, it's a good start.

Jumpz: Straight away he asked to see my flip jump and straight away I told him I'm scared. So, he said "do one" and, of course, I was able to do it just fine with him there. I think we did about eight of them and I would say that only two of them felt like they were proper flips where they actually did kind of feel like a loop jump with a different entry and I could feel my free leg "unwrap" on the landing. He also pointed out that I'm over-rotating both my flip and my loop so that might be part of the problem. My arms check out but my body is still rotating. This lack of control may be a contributing factor as to why I'm so fearful on these. If I can get my body and my arms to talk to each other and decide on when to end the jump, I'll be in a much easier state of mind and things will fall into place nicely.

So, I'm committing myself to working on flip jumps during each practice, whether my coach is there or not. It needs to get done and I can't procrastinate anymore or I'll never see progress. So yeah, I've got a bunch of new stuff to work on and it's all very exciting but it's never going to work unless I do :)

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Wednesday Night Progress

I went to the Wednesday night public session at Apex and, although it was a bit crowded, there was still room to get some stuff done. Mostly, I worked on the Circle 8 and the attitude spin but I threw some other things in there as well.

Movez - Really couldn't do much in the way of full-on Bronze moves but the middle of the rink was left abandoned for long stretches of time so I took advantage of the open space and worked on the Circle 8 quite a bit. For some reason, my left leg cooperated tonight and I was able to do the full move with decently-sized circles without a foot down! I feel like I really made some progress on this and so I kept working on it and working on it to make it stick. I stopped only when another figure skater got on to share the middle with me. It was an hour session and I'm pretty sure I devoted half of that to the Circle 8. I feel a bit more confident about it now! I also worked on the Five Step Mohawks and both sides of the Power Three Turns but, because of the crowds, I had to break the patterns pretty frequently. But hey, at least I can say I worked on them!

Jumpz - I worked on all of my program jumps but paid special attention to the toe loop. I did a couple where I feel like I got some good height (which, in all honesty, was kind of scary). I think the difference is that now I am forcing myself to hold that RBO edge for a longer amount of time before picking in. I'm not sure if my glide-through got any better but the flow and height of the thing certainly did. I also did some half-flips to prepare for the flip jump. Doing these tonight, I tried to get more power and height so I can eventually add that extra half-rotation for the full flip. I really wanted to attempt some flips tonight but I chickened out each time. I feel like I am only brave enough to do them when Christopher is there. I hate this. I have done this jump before and have been practicing them off-ice but I go through periods where I just...can't. I wish I knew a way to get my mind right on this.

Spinz - I also dedicated plenty of time to these as well because I know I struggle with the entrance and centering. I really want to improve these. I started with some one-foot spins and, when I felt like those were steady, I moved on to the attitude spin. My goal with these was to improve my body position to make it less like a one-foot spin with an arm variation and more like a proper attitude spin. I went to the boards and got into the attitude position. I've determined that if my back doesn't hurt slightly, I'm not attitude-y enough...lol. Then I went out to open ice and tried a bunch where I forced myself to really feel my back flexing to get the free-leg higher. I think I made some headway on this! It helps that my spins were centered this evening. Since spins felt pretty good, I decided now would be a good time to work on backspins for a bit. They are still mostly flamingo'd but I was able to muster some courage to get the free leg crossed in front for one revolution here and there. I even dabbled in some change-foot spins. Again, these were flamingo'd but I got 3 revs on each foot so there's that. Finally, since I know it was on the list that Christopher gave Coach G this past weekend, I know he's going to want to start looking at my sit spin. I did some from the wind-up and was able to get a few that were centered and had at least 3 revolutions but the dorsiflexion in my left ankle is still garbage so they were squat spins at best.

All in all, it was a productive practice and I feel like stuff just kind of clicked tonight. Physically, I know I have it in me to do some of these elements well, I am just battling some pretty big fear issues. I think if I can find a way to overcome that, I can really start progressing on some things.


Monday, September 24, 2018

Fill-in Coach

Christopher told me that he would be away this week and that he arranged another coach to fill in for him. This coach is new to our rink and I was excited to get a different perspective. She did well and she seems really nice. I don't think I learned anything groundbreaking but she was pleasant.

Christopher sent her a list of things he wanted her to work on with me but we didn't have time to go through all of them. The flip jump and the sit spin were on the list (!) but we only had time to work on the spin entry and preparation for the flip jump. However, we started off by looking at the Circle 8, per my request.

Circle Hate (ahem, I mean, Circle 8): I warned her ahead of time that, due to the injury, I have a difficult time getting on an LFO edge. She gave me direction on getting my right hip higher which was new and helpful, but she kept telling me that my LFO circle was too big and to just make it smaller. Yes, I know. That's the problem! I can't get on the edge. Like, I get what I'm supposed to do, I just can't get my body to do the thing. If I could get on the edge, the circle would be smaller but I can't just make it so. Maybe this is a problem that will never be fixed despite who is coaching me. I'm just broken :-/

Spin Entry: Christopher added this to the list because of my problems getting on the LFO edge and travelling as a result. Again, I'm not sure how much she helped in this regard. I think she thought the problem was that I was having a difficult time with the spinning aspect of it all. But it's not the spin that's the problem, it's the LFO into the spin that's the issue.

Flip Prep: We only had five more minutes left so I told her what I've been doing as prep exercises for the flip jump (half flip with free leg in "h" position and loop jump). She had me do each for her and then she had me do a couple of things with my arms at the boards but, again, nothing that I didn't already know. This isn't a technique problem, it's a fear thing. I've landed the flip a number of times but then I go months without working on it because somehow fear gets in the way. It's frustrating to know that I can and have done the element but then suddenly I can't because I'm scared.

So, here are my thoughts: I think she's a lovely person and I'm sure she's an excellent skater/coach but I get the impression that she maybe doesn't work with a lot of adults. Our problems with skating are so different than those of the younger kids. Adult skaters aren't as pliable as kids are and so we balk at trying things because when we fall, we fall hard and sometimes can't get up. I know how the flip jump works and where to spin on my blade but I have both physical and psychological roadblocks that prevent me from completing these elements. It's not as simple as just explaining it to me. I need time and encouragement...and PATIENCE! I think that's why I appreciate my coach as much as I do. He understands that I'll get it eventually, but I need to talk it out and maybe overthink about it for a bit before I muster the courage to actually do it. He listens. When I was having anxiety over doing the loop jump again, he let me panic about it and explain why I'm scared all the while encouraging me and reminding me that I'm brave. Coaching isn't all about explaining technique. I think to be a good coach you also have to be empathetic and understanding of some of the larger issues, especially when you are coaching adults. So yeah, I liked her okay but working with her reminded me why I like working with Christopher so much. He just gets me :)


Saturday, September 22, 2018

2018 CSI Free Skate Video

Yay! I finally got the video of my free skate from the Colorado Springs Invitational. I really do wish I would have smiled more throughout. Meh, next time there will be smiles. Enjoy!

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Courage does not always roar...

I'm feeling a bit lost and confused and I don't know where else to post this except here. I met a lovely new friend named Kathryn back in May. She posted on the adult figure skating Facebook group saying that she had just moved to Colorado and was looking for skating buddies to connect with. As introverted as I am, I immediately said "ME! Skate with ME!!!" I had the privilege of getting to skate with her at my rink and, during our practice, we talked about similar struggles with our skating as we were at the same level. She complained about her right blade, I complained about my wonky leg. She was bright and adventurous and she genuinely sparkled. I wish I had more time to get to know her before she left us so suddenly on Tuesday.

She congratulated me on my competition and even commented on how cool our club jackets are. I thought she might get back on the ice with me and maybe join my club once she got her blade issues sorted out. And now she's gone and, even though I didn't know her for very long, I know she left an impact on my life. Going through her Facebook photos from this past week, I saw one of her dog, Emma, sitting adorably on Kathryn's bed and then I saw the pillow in the background. It reads: "Courage does not always roar...Sometimes it is the quiet at the end of the day saying...'I will try again tomorrow'"

So, Kathryn, when I lace up my skates and step on the ice, when I feel discouraged that I struggle with things that seem to come so easily to others, when I celebrate my victories and lament my shortcomings, I will think of you. And I will try again tomorrow 💓


Tuesday, September 18, 2018

I don't always have fields, but when I do, I move in them

Back to the grind! My Bronze moves have taken a back seat while I was preparing for the competition so today's practice was reserved for only field moves. I did a couple of jumps and spins just to say I did but I spent the whole hour trying to get my moves back under control.

Perimeter Power Stroking: I usually incorporate this as part of my warm-up every time I get on the ice so these were still okay. I still need to work on trying to get more extension with my free leg and making sure my arms are pretty.

Forward Power Three Turns: I have been avoiding these for the longest time! I can't do that anymore. I really want to pass this test so I can move on to Bronze free skate. I spent a good chunk of my practice on these because they need the most work. I went back to basics and did them first on the blue line and then moved the whole pattern out to the full rink. I did them very slowly because I think my earlier "click of death" problems were the result of rushing. I have a tendency to rush everything and this is one of those moves where rushing can really hurt you. I would rather do them slowly and correctly than rush through them and have them be sloppy (or, worse yet, fall by tripping myself). I did several passes on both sides. I promise to work on this every time I practice. No more of this "I don't feel like it today" b.s. because that's just a lame excuse and I know it.

Alternating BX-BO Edges: My LBO is not as strong as my RBO so I need to do these more and really lean in to those LBO edges to balance this out more. I need to ask Christopher how my arms should be. Like, do I switch them at all or do I just have them out to the sides like I do in a landing position?

Forward Circle 8: So, yeah, this was crap. Again with the LFO and my wonky leg. All the other circles are fine but when I step onto the LFO circle, I just go straight. I just don't know how to fix this. I'm hoping that, as long as I don't put a foot down, I'll just get low marks on this but I won't be asked to retry and I won't fail the whole test because I think my other test elements will carry me through. Along with the power stroking, I always incorporate the circle 8 into my usual warm-up routine so it's not like I haven't been working on this. I work on it every time I skate and it's still crap. It's always going to be crap. Ugh.

Five Step Mohawk Sequence: These are fine and they flow well. They are a bit noisier than I want them to be and, of course, the solution to that is to bend my knees more and get off those damn toe picks. By far, though, this is my favorite move.

Christopher reminded me that he won't be there for our lesson on Saturday but he has asked another coach who is new to our rink to stand in for him. I forget her name but I'm excited and a bit nervous to work with her. I think it will be nice to have a different perspective. I hope she's okay focusing on field moves because I really need to get this polished. I would like to test in January maybe :)


Monday, September 17, 2018

Competition Debrief

So, my first competition is in the books! Overall, it was an amazing experience and felt very different from test day. I felt happy and relaxed, I met some other adult skaters who were very positive and supportive of every one else, and I felt confident in my abilities. Would I do it again? Hells yeah! Before I go into specifics, I'm sure you're wondering how I did. I placed first in both compulsory moves and free skate (TWO gold medals YAASS)! Honestly, I had some pretty tough competition and was ready to accept any placement I got so I was genuinely surprised when they announced my name for gold. All I wanted to do was skate my best and I really feel like this was the best I've done in a while. I'm really glad my body decided that this was a good time to center spins and perform well ;)

Warm-upz: I signed up for a 15 minute warm-up session so I could get a feel for the ice and how the rink felt. Holy smokes the ice was rough! It felt like skating on gravel! Before my 15 minute warm-up there had already been three practice sessions on that ice without a zam so by the time I got to it, it was pretty torn up. I ran through everything, though, and Christopher was at the boards making corrections as needed. Those 15 minutes went by pretty quickly and it seemed as soon as I got on, the announcer told us we had 1 minute left. Yikes!

Compulsory Movez: My husband was kind enough to film this and it's a good thing he did because, since I was skating at the Zamboni end, the videographer didn't film it. I put the video below for your viewing pleasure! I was the final skater in our group of 6 so I had plenty of time to overthink before I got on the ice (classic Mandi). Christopher had me do a quick run-through of everything while the skater before me was performing so that when I got on the ice, everything was fresh in my mind. This went as well as it could. Everything flowed nicely and was at a decent speed. If I had to change anything I would have slowed down that final toe loop. It was definitely rushed and I'm pretty sure it was cheated. I think had I slowed things down a bit, I would have done a proper toe loop.

Free Skatez: I ordered a professional video of this so I'll post that once I get it. The videographer said she could cut me a copy at the event but it would take an hour and my mother-in-law was already waiting in the car. I should have it up in about a week. I have the video that my husband shot up on my YouTube page but it's blurry in spots and kind of shaky. If you are really interested in viewing it, it's there, but I'll hold off on posting anything here until I get the professional copy. How did it go? It went well. I still had some nerves and I wish I would have held the landings out more but I landed all of my jumps, the spins were centered, and I ended on time with the music. What would I change? I missed the transition after the salchow-toe loop combo. I added some filler at that point and, honestly, it's not even noticeable unless you are really familiar with my choreography. My attitude spin was lacking attitude. Really, it was just a one-foot spin with an arm variation. I was just so happy that it was centered that I didn't want to raise my free leg any higher and mess it up. Overall, everything felt pretty good and I remembered to make eye contact with the judges and smile.

Overall thoughtz: 1). It helped to not look at the judges faces. When I did look at them, I just looked at their shoulders, really. If I see them as just human-shaped forms without faces it doesn't feel like they are watching me and, you know, judging. So yeah, picturing the judges as blobs kind of helped. I'm totally doing that again! 2). My hair. Oh lord. I got my hair braided at the competition and the lady doing it was quick and professional. She did a great job! But she used a lot of product and my hair felt like cement. It looked kind of greasy even. Next time, I'm just going to do a simple ballet bun and secure the crap out of it. 3). I really loved meeting the other adult skaters! They were so nice and we all cheered each other on. I get a feeling that it's not like this with the younger skaters so I'm glad that the adult skating community is so friendly. It really makes the competition experience a pleasant one. We all friended each other on Facebook so we can keep in touch. 4). I felt very lucky to have Christopher there. Dustin said that I really just seemed to relax once Christopher arrived. He's like my skating security blanket! I also got a couple of compliments on the choreography so I feel extra lucky that I have a coach that not only gives me good direction and support but can choreograph a lovely routine for me. Best coach! 5). I decided not to practice during the two days leading up to the competition. I wanted to relax not only my body but my mind as well. I always skate best after a "reset." 6). No coffee leading up to the event! On test day back in May I drank like a half a pot of coffee and the caffeine/adrenaline combo did not work in my favor. This time, I saved my coffee drinking for after the event (also, once you get the tights, leotard, and dress on, peeing is a monumental task that takes not only mental fortitude but expert contortionist skills. No thanks!).

So now starts the task of working hard to improve the things I've learned and work on the things I still struggle with (and there's a lot!). Knowing that I am capable of doing okay in a competition inspires me to work even harder. I have a lot to prove and miles yet to go!

Thursday, September 13, 2018

Go Fast. Don't Suck.

This is my final entry before the competition (commence panic!) so I've decided to write myself (or anyone else that is reading this) a bit of a motivational post. Back in the day, I was a barista at Starbucks and if you've ever been there during a rush you can see how hectic it gets sometimes. Every now and then a new barista will be hired and they usually ask the more seasoned baristas for advice and the answer that is most commonly given is "Go fast. Don't suck." I'm adopting this as my personal mantra for this competition. My coach wants me to skate with speed so I'll go fast. The judges want proper technique and good performance, so I'll try my best not to suck.

Going into this competition, I'm reminded about why I started skating to begin with. I know I'll never go to the Olympics and I may not even do well enough to earn a medal at this particular competition but I know I'll have fun! I'm going to meet at least five other skaters who are skating at my level and who are just as excited to get on the ice and skate their programs as I am. I'm not even thinking of them as competitors because I'm not out for blood, you know? So I don't really feel like they are my competition. My only competition here is myself and as long as I do my best and skate a program that I can be proud of, I think I'll be happy. No puppies will die if I don't make the podium, my coach won't beat me, my husband won't divorce me. Even if I get last place, I will still get more points than if I were the only competitor and got default first. So, even if I come in last, I win.

I find that I am more excited than nervous. I get to wear my club jacket for the first time at a competition and I get to hear my name called over the speakers. How fun! I get to have fun hair and make-up and see the people who love me cheering me on from the stands. I don't know, that sounds like a good time, right?

So, go out there and be the best Geisha or Spiderman (Hi Stan!) or whatever and kick some ass! Most importantly, have fun and enjoy the experience. Just being there is an accomplishment. Celebrate it :)

Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Sometimes Love Hurts

I love skating! I mean, duh. Why else would I do a thing where I risk injury every time I step on the ice? Today, though? Well, it was just one of those days where every thing hurt. Every.little.thing! It was so difficult to get anything done this morning because my left leg was throbbing. Just doing a simple 3-turn was really painful. On top of the leg pain, I was having a very difficult time catching my breath (mild asthma). It was all super discouraging and left me utterly exhausted by the time I left the ice. But, I did work on stuff so it wasn't a total loss.

Spinz - Nothing was centered today. That's pretty typical of how I usually skate but today was especially "travely."

Jumpz - I worked on all of my jumps. In fact, I think the bulk of this morning's practice was jumps (oddly, they didn't hurt as much as the spins). My jump sequence completely left me, though, which is not surprising since 2/3 of the jumps land forward on my left toe pick. Salchows and salchow-toe loop combos were fine as were my loop jumps. I just hope everything comes back to me by Saturday.

Compulsoriez - I ran this a couple of times and, with the exception of the jump sequence being wonky today, this is just fine. It may just be the only thing I'm kind of confident about.

Programz - I didn't feel like running my music today (don't tell my coach) but I did run pretty large sections of the program and spent some time working on those transitions to/from the various elements. If anything improved today, it was the transitions. Those feel pretty comfortable now. I even worked out what to do if I end my spin facing the wrong direction so that's one fewer thing to worry about.

I guess we all have good days and bad days. Today was bad but I know the next time I get on the ice it will be better.


Wednesday, September 5, 2018

APEX Madness and Bronze Ideas

I went to APEX tonight for their public session so I could get some time in with my newly sharpened blades. I always like to do this on a public session rather than a freestyle because I honestly look a bit inept for the first 10 minutes after a sharpening. So yeah, blades are sharp and they feel pretty good. I'm not sure if my last sharpening back in April was poorly done or if this one was just done really well but I feel like everything is just so much easier now! My spins were great and my LFO even felt easier. Neat!

But...APEX was an absolute zoo tonight! Luckily, the skate guard put out the cones but there were five of us figure skaters trying to practice in the small area in the center. We were all very courteous though which was nice. We were very aware of when the others were lining up for a jump or setting up for a spin and gave them their space. Even though it was all very civil, space was limited and I couldn't really practice the things I needed to. Mostly, I just did individual elements where and when I could. Lots of spins and lots of individual jumps but nothing whole. At least I put some time in and got acclimated to the way my blades feel so there's that.

Also, I feel like I need to really start thinking about Bronze free skate. I updated the links on the right-hand side of this blog to reflect the new rules that went into effect on September 2nd. I am very pleased! With the previous set of rules, I felt like my physical handicaps would prevent me from passing the test. Now, I feel confident that I can pass! I have an idea for music and I even found a dress that would match so now all I need to do is pitch my ideas to Christopher to see if he's on board with it all since he'll be choreographing the thing. I also need to get back to working on the flip jump since that has been put on the back burner so I can focus on the geisha program. For Bronze, I would like to challenge myself by doing a salchow, loop, flip, and waltz-toe for my jump elements. For spins, I would like to work on getting a solid camel and a decent backspin. I worked on some backspins this evening and was able to get 3-4 revolutions but they were not in the crossed-leg position. Incorporating this into a program will force me to work on it. So yeah, I have a concept for my Bronze free skate but I'll announce it once I get coach approval. Stay tuned! 😉

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Arming Myself Against Bad Spins

Spinz - I skated the 6:00am freestyle this morning and spent a good chunk of my time just working on spins. One of my problems with spins (besides the wonky LFO entry edge due to the injury) is the fact that I open my arms too quickly going into the spin. I need to keep that left arm in front of me until after I hook the spin or else it travels every time. I did a bunch of spins where I forced myself to keep my arm crossed in front longer and guess what? The spins were better! I know Christopher has been telling me this for a while but I always forget when it comes time to actually do the spin.

Jumpz - A lot of time was spent on the toe loop trying to unwaltz it. Lots of jumps at the boards and then some out on open ice. I think I got one or two that were proper and not cheated. Overall, my jumps today just felt messy. I just wasn't feelin' it today, I guess.

Programz - I did a couple of run-throughs of my compulsory moves just to keep it solid and then I ran the program. Again, no skate monitor so I had to start my own music and then rush out onto the ice to jump in. Everything went well except I fell on a stupid footwork thing that I have never fallen on before but I got back up and was able to land everything else and still finish on time. It was just a freak thing, I guess. It's not anything I'm going to worry about.

Also, blades got sharpened. My next practice should be an interesting one.