Struggles

Lesson today and we worked on all of my struggles. 

Power Pullz - The forward pulls have definitely progressed even if they are not exactly where I want them yet. But, considering the left pulls were non-existent at the beginning of the year, I'm happy that they are happening and they are more pull and less swerve. I complained to Christopher that, although I'm trying for deep edges, I rarely hear them rip. He brought back an older exercise where you do two deep edges on the same foot on the same lobe. We both heard some rips! So, it can be done. I just need a little more oomph. The backward pulls were good but can be a little more twisty in my torso. I'm a little too proper with the posture. Overall, these have been improving since I've made them part of my warm-ups. I'm glad I started doing that because these were garbage before. 

LBO 3 Turn of Doomz - Yeah, back to this. Still not happening. I asked him how he's not sick of working with me on this after a year and a half and he said that he sees me improving in other areas so he knows I can do this eventually. He'll just keep going until I get it. Best coach! 

Flipz - These have always been technically sloppy but they have become more so in the past couple of weeks. He strapped me into the pole harness and I had a couple that felt better but they are still pretty gross. The fear is gone and I'm landing them but the take-off is so.very.bad. 

Axelz - We didn't do any because we ran out of time but he said that we will do some on the track harness next week when we are in the red rink (it's the only rink out of the three we have that has a track harness). In the meantime, I'm still working on the on-ice and off-ice Axel preps. Why do I feel like I'll get my Axel before I get a proper flip? Sigh. 

Derping the Dutch Waltz

Lesson today and we started with a discussion about testing and how there is a possibility that, for the next 6 months or so, testing might be done virtually. My reaction: "Ew." I'm not a fan of this format but I also really want to get my Preliminary dances tested so I can focus more on the Pre-Bronze tests. Mostly, I worry about the logistics of it all. Like, is my rink going to reserve a sheet of ice (we have three!) so that we can record our tests without having to worry about the little skaters getting in the way? Most people are pretty aware of who is running programs but some of the really small beginner skaters don't quite have the whole situational awareness thing down pat yet. I'm always having to look out for them. It would be nice to skate my test without the distraction of having to look out for people. You know, like how tests are supposed to be. I guess if I want to test, virtual may be my only option. Sigh. 

Dutch Waltz - We started our lesson by running through all three Preliminary dances in order. I don't know what happened but I got to the end pattern of the DW and...forgot the steps! Not once but twice! Super embarrassing! We ran it a third time and it was good but damn. What the hell. I think this is part of the problem of having 6 ice dance patterns swimming around in my head. They sometimes blend together or get forgotten entirely. This is all the more reason to test my Prelim dances soon and just be done with them. 

Canasta Tango - This was good! He just wants me to aim the intro steps more toward the lutz corner. I was cutting them short. 

Rhythm Blues - His first attempt at recording us didn't go through so we ran it again. It didn't record much because he literally just propped up his iPad on the boards so it only recorded the part where we do the swing roll into the lilt. But it looked good. My leg could be straighter on the swing roll but he said the lilt was actually quite nice. Woot! The cross behind steps felt nice. 

Swing - We spent a lot of time on this and when we have our lesson on Wednesday, I'm going to insist we work on it some more. The steps themselves are fine but the partnering is what's tricky for me with the whole moving apart from waltz hold and coming back into waltz hold on the end patterns. I also have a tendency to not get close enough to him while in waltz hold. This, by far, is the most awkward partnering out of all of the dances. I have anxiety about people touching me or being too close to me and this really pushes my limits. I'm okay getting close to my husband but I don't usually come face-to-face with other people too often so yeah. Every time we run this, he tells me to get closer. Every time we run this I have issues getting back into waltz hold after we separate. I think just running it more will desensitize me to the awkwardness of it all. I'm the awkwardness of it all, lol. Otherwise, it seems as though my timing is good and I'm getting the steps right so it's really not all the bad. Still needs a ton of work, though.

We didn't have time for the Fiesta or the Cha Cha so maybe we'll look at those next time. I also asked him about learning/testing/competing a Free Dance. The Rule Book was pretty confusing. It looks like if I compete with a Free Dance at the Adult level, I would start at Bronze but I'm not sure if that means I need to test the first six dances to be eligible to compete at Bronze. But then the Rule Book also indicates that to test a Free Dance, you start at Juvenile (which has the same required elements as the Adult Bronze Competition Free Dance). So he said he would look at it and try to make some sense out of it for me.

2021 Goal Post

 I do this every year and it's typically really nice to look back at the goals I set for myself at the beginning of the year and see how far I've come and what I have achieved. Alas, 2020 was kind of a shit year so some things got done, some things never improved at all, and some unexpected things happened. For reference, here are the goals I set for myself for 2020. 

2020 Wrap Up - I had 3 on ice goals to achieve. My on ice goals included me getting my Silver Moves "test ready" so that I could test them in 2021, getting a proper backspin with the leg crossed with the added bonus of challenging myself to put a change-foot spin in one of my programs, and finally, I had the goal of competing. Depending on how you look at things, I achieved all three goals! My Silver Moves have improved this past year (even if I still don't have my LBO 3 turn, ugh). Are they "test ready"? Not quite. But they are better and I think if I give myself another year, they might just be good to go. The backspin is still flamingo'd but it is more comfortable. I did initially have a change-foot spin in my original choreography for my "Fix You" program but we ended up taking it out. However, I did a change-foot spin anyway during Fright Fest when I botched my camel combo and entered a backspin to complete the revolutions. It wasn't planned but it was neat that my body was able to do one following a mistake and under pressure. And my goal of competing this year was achieved twice, once at CSI in September and again at Fright Fest in October. I won gold at both :) 

I had 3 off ice goals to achieve as well. Goal 1 was to run an uninterrupted mile and I was making some headway with that in my off ice warmups until the rinks shut down and my rink running stopped. When the rink opened back up again, they were pretty clear that they didn't want us warming up inside anymore. I lost all my running progress so this ended up being a failed goal. Goal 2 was to track my fitness better. I got a FitBit and I have been faithfully wearing it since I got it in January. It's been really neat to see the data reflecting how hard I work on the ice. Finally, the third goal was to get back to ballet. When the rinks shut down, Christopher offered his students online classes that included off-ice jumps and spins, stretching, and ballet. I ended up going to his ballet classes every week and they were great! I actually learned more from him than I did when I was attending in-person ballet classes. However, when the rinks opened again, online ballet stopped. Because I didn't want to lose any progress with how strong my core was getting, I started taking Pilates classes! I love them and they are a great no-impact way of maintaining core strength and balance without the pressure of being in a class full of prima ballerinas. Goal achieved! So yeah, 2020 was hella weird but I was still able to achieve all but one of my goals. 

Goals for 2021

I honestly don't know what 2021 will look like. I know that even though we have a vaccine, things won't just go back to normal. In fact, the USFSA has already postponed registration for Sectionals and we don't know if it will be virtual, delayed, or cancelled all together. So, I'm setting modest goals this time. 

Goal 1 - Get that damn LBO 3 turn! It's getting so close and I know I'll be able to do it soon. It's the only thing holding me back from taking Silver Moves. 

Goal 2 - Continue learning ice dance and hopefully test the first 6 pattern dances by the end of 2021 (of course, this all depends on test session availability). Maybe learn a free dance and take my Juvenile Free Dance Test too. 

Goal 3 - Take more risks. I'm super anxious all the time about a lot of things relating to skating (flip jumps, backspins, partnering, etc). I want to just stop all that and skate. I'm the only thing holding me back and it's stupid. Learning ice dance these past couple of months has shown me that I have the ability to learn new things and actually be decent at them as long as I take the risk and do the thing. No more balking because of fear. Fear stays behind in 2020!

So next week we will be in 2021 and I'm really hoping that the world around me starts improving. At least I don't think things could get any worse, could they?

Picking Me Apart

Lessons happened

Preliminary Dancez - We ran through all three Preliminary Dances with the music to make sure they are still being worked on. Everything is still there. Christopher still gave me some corrections though. The progressive right before the cross behind steps in the Rhythm Blues could be a little cleaner (I have a bit of a toe push for some reason when it really should be more of an understroke). It's like the cross behinds got better but in anticipation of those, I got sloppy on the progressive. I told him it's because there is still panic about the cross behinds. He said it doesn't look panicky so there is no reason to panic. Easier said than done. Moving on to the Canasta Tango, he would like me to make the lobes deeper so he doesn't have to guide me as much. Dutch Waltz was fine.

Fiesta Tangoz - Per my request, we looked at the Fiesta. This is the only one of the Pre-Bronze Dances that really doesn't feel comfortable yet even though I've made progress with the final step forward on the end pattern. I'm not at the point where I can do this with music and we are pretty far away from the point of partnering this but I have been able to improve it a bit. He made some corrections that were really helpful. I was trying to imitate the skater in the USFSA Dance App and as a result, my first two outside edges looked hella weird and felt awkward. He corrected those and they feel so much better now. He also made a bit of an adjustment to the way I start the dance. I should push off onto my right leg and add a crossover into the first steps. Moving on, I had a bit of a flamingo leg on the cross behind slide chasse step and my placement of it was really outside of the pattern so he gave me some tips to fix that. The change-edge swing roll was also looking pretty rough. This was an easy fix, just bend your skating leg on the inside edge. Finally, the final step forward should be aimed toward the long end of the rink, not the short end. This way it is easier to start the pattern over. So yeah, he picked this whole dance apart and I'm so thankful that he can see all of these little details. This dance is tricky but it's getting there. 

Sit Spinz - We haven't worked on these in so very long but, now that I'm feeling better from the fall I had a few weeks ago, I'm willing to fall on my ass again without worrying about pain. So, I requested that we revisit the forward sit spin. With the Pilates and extra stretching I've been doing, my bad ankle has a bit more dorsiflexion in it and I'm able to hold the sit a bit better (and slightly lower). So we did many of these. 

LBO 3 Turn of Doomz - I'm still working on it. It still hasn't happened yet. I'm determined to not let it defeat me. I had one turn that kinda made it around and I almost freaked out with excitement when it happened but I didn't get the forward glide out so it doesn't count. I see glimmers of progress with this so I just need to make time for it each time I skate and I'm sure it will get there.

Pizzaz!

 Per my request, Christopher and I ran through all of the Preliminary Dances partnered with the music. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that there will be another test session in January and I was worried that with an increased focus on Pre-Bronze Dances, I was losing some of my Preliminary Dance technique. I just want to keep them test ready in case they announce a test session soon. 

Dutch Waltz - This was pretty good. I need to make the end lobes a bit curvier so I don't run out of room with the end pattern. This has always been a problem for me. Because this dance is so simple, I tend to make things bigger than they need to be and I end up running out of room. Make the lobes deeper and there is no problem. He says this is still test ready so why not add some pizzaz! Nothing fancy, just some different arms and stuff with the intro. 

Canasta Tango - His criticisms were the same as they were several weeks ago. It's good, just make the movements a bit more sharp so that you get that full Tango flavor. Pizzaz happened. 

Rhythm Blues - Surprise! He actually said that this is better than the last time he has seen it! I think it's because I have become more comfortable with those stupid cross behind steps. More pizzaz here too. 

Cha Cha - Since we looked at the Swing dance last lesson, we worked on the Cha Cha today. Again, I need to make my lobes and edges a bit deeper and have a more pronounced wide step but this dance is coming along. 

I worked on Swing and Fiesta on my own to keep them under my feet. I also worked on spins, jumps, and moves. I had some really good CCW Backward Power 3 Turns that were proper (no foot down). I was able to get 3 in a row most times. Sadly, because my LBO 3 turn is still non-existent, I was not able to do the same on the other side but I did work on the turn itself. Or, at least I attempted to. Still no progress. I didn't do any flip jumps today because I'm feeling like the more I do them, the worse they are getting in terms of technique. I just want to give them a break. This is probably not a good idea especially since the quality of my jumps overall has diminished since I have started working more on dance. Ugh, why can't I just have it all, lol. 

Getting Closer

 I'm putting the entire week's worth of skating in one post because this is my blog and I can do what I want :P I skated Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and there really isn't too much to report back on but here goes: 

Flip Jumpz - it's a never ending project. Christopher tried to get me to calm down as I'm still forcing things. He told me to think of it as if it were Ice Dance since I guess I'm doing pretty well there. That initial 3 turn should be calm and smooth without any panic or stress just as if I were doing a 3 turn in dance. After the turn, keep the picking leg really close to the ice and don't pre-rotate. I mean, I tried. I really tried. I've been working on this damn jump for over three years and it's still not technically correct. Ugh. 

Swing Dancez - We worked a bit on the partnering aspect of this since, to me anyway, it feels like a completely different dance once you add an extra body in the mix. What I'm really struggling with is getting back into waltz hold after the end pattern. I feel like I'm too far away when I go from forward to backward so I end up reaching for him. He said it's the responsibility of the person now skating forward to get back into hold with the person skating backward. That means sometimes it will be my slow ass trying to get back to him. The steps themselves are fine and although this dance still needs some time to cook, I think it's getting there. 

Fiesta Tangoz - I worked on this dance a lot on my own since I'm really struggling with the end pattern, specifically in the last couple of steps where my feet are crossed and then I have to step forward. I was able to manage it without a foot down a couple of times so I know progress is being made. I also just really need to speed this up. It's a pretty quick dance. I haven't tried it with music yet. It's the only dance out of the six that I haven't done to music. It's just not there yet. Sigh.

Backward 3 Turnz - I got to skate with one of my Unicorn Tribe sisters and she was gracious enough to spend some time with me working on the LBO 3 turn that I'm still struggling with. She gave me some good insights so now I just need to practice some more to see if it sticks with me. 

Dance Anxietiez - I was talking with a couple of ice dancers (Unicorn Tribe Sister and one of Christopher's other ice dance students) about how much anxiety I have about partnering and how scared I am of taking my partner out and possibly hurting him. They assured me that ice dance coaches know how to fall and they deal with this stuff all the time. It's not a big deal apparently. I felt much better when one of them admitted that she has taken Christopher down a few times now and it's fine. It will eventually happen but don't anxiety about it. It's part of Ice Dance just as much as falling on a jump is part of learning freestyle. Christopher has assured me he's not scared of me so I should really believe him and have a bit more confidence. Partnering, to me, is the most difficult aspect of Ice Dance so far.

Fiesta My Tango

Lesson today! I was feeling some sads today since it would have been Test Day for me had it not been canceled. But at least I still got to skate today and I'm super thankful that the rink is open at all since rinks nationwide are starting to close again. There is always a bright side. 

Cha Cha - Since that is what I was working on when it was my turn for a lesson, that's what we started with. First, he wanted to see me skate the pattern on my own without the music. I did well except for the times I had to break out of the pattern to avoid other skaters. Seeing that I knew the steps, we partnered it without the music. He had a couple of corrections. One was to step wider on the Inside Chasse (which is particularly scary because I'm afraid of stepping too wide onto his foot). He would also like for me to make the end pattern curvier. I was doing the whole thing in an arc but it should curve in toward the center when I do the cross behind steps and then out toward the end boards for the inside swing roll. I'm pretty surprised with my ability to do the cross behind steps. I struggled with them initially when I was learning them in the Rhythm Blues but now I know I have to flex my foot so it's flat when I put it down. That makes every cross behind so much easier to execute and virtually eliminates the fear since I won't trip on my toe pick. Woot! Since I did well with the partnering, he wanted to run it partnered with music. We actually did well! I was slightly behind the beat on the end pattern because I'm still not entirely comfortable with it but it's pretty good! Yay! We Cha Cha'd!

Fiesta Tango - I knew it was coming so I studied the steps on my own before he taught it to me so I wouldn't be so lost. I know the steps but wow the partnering is difficult on this! We are supposed to change hold positions twice in the pattern and there's mohawks and other steps and I'm really afraid I'm going to kill him. Why is he not afraid of me? He...should be. I'm a hazard. So yeah, there is a lot of work to be done with this, specifically with the end pattern because that is where all the danger is. The dance is fun up until that point and then it's instant anxiety. 

But hey! I now know the first SIX dances and can skate at least four of them pretty well. I think in January (if there's a test session) I would like to test all three Preliminary Dances and possibly the Cha Cha and Swing if they are up to snuff. I have a feeling Fiesta Tango will take a while so I'm in no rush there. Ugh, I did not expect to like Ice Dance this much. Who am I even?

Skate ALL THE THINGS!

 Lesson today and I requested that we work on a little bit of everything since we have been focusing a lot on dance (don't get me wrong, I love dance but I don't want my other skills to slide). 

Spinz - We started with spins, particularly camel spins since it's been about a month or so since we looked at them. I have been practicing them so I know they didn't regress, in fact I think they have improved. My suspicions were correct! Christopher says they do look like they've improved since the last time he saw them. I'm able to hold the position better and am much more stable coming out of it into a scratch spin to finish it off. So, we worked on improving that initial push onto the edge from the windup. I'm also still struggling with remembering to lead with my left arm instead of swinging it. When I remember to do all of these things, I'm able to get a nice spin. He briefly mentioned me working on a camel to sit spin and I admitted that since I'm still really sore from that bad fall, I have not been wanting to work on sit spins since there's a pretty good chance I'll end up on my ass (which is now hella bruised. My entire left check and back left thigh is all kinds of colors!). But he suggested working on a back sit so I tried it...and I ended up on my ass. Ugh, it hurt! He suggested going into the coaches room to get some padding and I'm just like "Thanks but maybe we should just not do the thing anymore." It hurt more than I wanted to admit. :( 

Movez - Moving on to moves! He asked me what I wanted to work on and honestly, I couldn't think much beyond the pain so I said it was "coaches choice." He chose Cross Strokes (thank gawd). I'm doing better at holding the free leg back before the cross on the forward strokes so now he would like for me to make them curvier. Cool, I can do that! The backward strokes are fine but he would like to see me get my feet closer together on the cross and also lean on those curves. I can do the lean but the closer feet thing still has me spooked. 

Flipz - My flip jump is a constant work in progress. I think over this past month I've been able to make some more progress but my biggest downfall with this is that I cannot stop forcing it. This causes me to over-rotate every single time and the jump overall looks chaotic. So, he took me waaaay back to basics and had me do a slow and flat 3 turn entry, hold, pick, and then do an almost back pivot into the actual jump. This forced me to think about each part of the jump and not just fling myself in the air as I usually do. I'll keep working on it this way. It clicked for me. 

Dancez - We had some time at the end to look at some dance stuff. I now have the steps and timing memorized for the Swing and the Cha Cha so since we only had time to look at one, we worked on the Swing. We sorta partnered it? Instead of the proper waltz position, we were basically just face-to-face holding hands with some good distance between us (it reminded me of a Catholic School Dance, lol). Anyway, I got all the steps right but my transitions were a little wonky on the end patterns mostly because I've been practicing it by myself so I wasn't sure which side of him to get on with each end pattern. Since he seems confident now that I know the steps, he said we can do it in proper waltz hold next time. Kinda scary. It's going to feel really different and I'm still scared about kicking him or tripping us both. He also said we will look at the Cha Cha next time too. I imagine Fiesta Tango is in my near future. 

So yeah, it was a productive lesson and I think he has seen some improvements from me. I'm glad because although we haven't been looking at some of these things during our lessons lately, I've been working really hard at them in my practices. We didn't look at backward 3 turns but I'm still plugging away at those too. Unfortunately, the improvements cannot be seen with those. Sigh. 

Swinging into the week like Cha Cha Cha

 After my terrible fall on Saturday, I was debating even skating this week. But, I had already paid for the sessions and there are no refunds. Plus I'm stupidly stubborn so I went to the rink as sore as I was. After icing it quite a bit, it feels slightly better. It still really hurts though, so I broke out my padded skate pants that I haven't worn in a while and brought them to wear during this week's sessions. I really don't want to fall on it again and aggravate it further. 

Monday Swing - Christopher started our lesson by asking me if I was disappointed about the test session getting canceled. I admitted I was but was also kind of relieved. At the pain levels I'm experiencing right now, I am not in the mood to test. He said since I would have passed the tests, he would like to move forward and teach me the next set of dances from the Pre-Bronze level. We started with Swing! This introduces a whole new dance hold (waltz position) as well as a change in direction from backward to forward halfway through the pattern. We went through the basic steps first and then he taught me the pattern. His main piece of advice was to have good turnout on my swing rolls so I don't toepick him in the shins (it's happened in the past apparently). I have a feeling that this will be difficult to practice without a partner as I will need to skate backwards for half of it and won't have a way of looking out for other skaters without breaking my posture. It's fun and swingy though so I think I'll like it. 

Tuesday Cha Cha - I spent the whole time before my lesson working on the Swing so that when he got to me I would at least know the steps. I finally got all the steps down so imagine my surprise when our lesson started and he said he was going to teach the Cha Cha. I mean, sure, let's do it! This is a super fun dance and I know it will be one of my favorites once I get all the steps down but man, two new dances in two days. It's a lot. 

I've been practicing at home using the USFSA Dance app so I have the steps to both dances memorized now! Hooray! If he throws the Fiesta Tango at me next time my brain might actually explode. 

Registered! And then not! And then OUCH!

This was a crazy week full of ups and downs, excitements and disappointments, rises and falls. Hold on to your butts.  

Registered! - Last Thursday evening, I registered for all three (yes, all three!) Preliminary Dance Tests! After about 5 weeks of dance training, I did well enough during our last lesson for Christopher to give me his blessing to register for all three dances. Pretty neat, right? I thought so. The day after I registered for the test, I had another lesson and we ran all three dances with the music. He doesn't hand out compliments very often so when he does, I know it's a big deal. He actually said that all three dances are not only passable at the Adult level but they would pass easily at the Standard level as well. Huge deal! I was excited and ready to kick some ass during the test session. 

And then not! - Fast forward to Saturday morning and I get an email from the RMFSC President saying that, due to new COVID restrictions, they had to cancel the December 4th test session. Ugh, super bummer! The whole reason why I rushed to learn these dances was because I was worried that if I waited to take them after the new year, there wouldn't be any test sessions because of COVID. Alas, it happened anyway. Whatever, I'm still going to practice them and make sure they are beautiful for when I do get a chance to test them. It's disappointing because I wanted to end the year on a high note but this just means perhaps I can begin the new year on a high note instead (and I think we will need all the high notes we can get next year). During my practice, I skated all three dances (solo, because I wasn't in a lesson) with the music. I ran each dance twice and they felt good. I think they may have looked good as well. 

And then OUCH! - After I ran all of my dances, I spent the second half of the session working on field moves. Everything was going well until I got the to Eight Step Mohawks. I ran the move once in its entirety and it was the smoothest I've ever done it. It wasn't perfect but for the first time it didn't feel like a struggle. So I bumped it up a notch and started to run it again but this time trying to keep my feet closer together on the outside mohawk as Christopher instructed. Well, mission accomplished because I got my feet so close together that I actually stepped on my blade and went down SUPER hard! I have had plenty of falls while skating but I have to say that this was the worst fall I've ever had! It was so hard and so sudden that it literally knocked the snot out of me (sorry for the TMI but it's reality). I sat on the ice stunned for a few seconds while I went through my rolodex of body parts thinking about whether or not anything was broken. I figured I would only know if I got up so I stood up and my left butt cheek muscle was hella painful! I skate-limped over to the boards to evaluate further but I eventually ended my session early and got off the ice. I got into the locker room and realized that the pain was so bad that I couldn't bend over to untie my skates. I thought about calling my husband to come get me but eventually I managed (through some tears, not gonna lie) to get my skates off and go home. I took some Motrin and iced the hell out of it but ultimately decided against going to the ER. It's sad to admit but I unfortunately know what broken bones feel like as well as a muscle tear. While it hurt pretty badly, nothing seems torn or broken. Don't ever step on your blade while skating. I guarantee you won't like it. :( 

So yeah, it was a roller coaster of a week. Ugh. 

Test Ready!

 I had a lesson yesterday and the goal was to run all three Preliminary Dances with the music to see whether or not I am ready to test all of them or just one or two. 

Dutch Waltzez - Christopher had me run the full pattern by myself with the music before we partnered. I thought it went well. He would like to see a bit more knee bend on the progressives (especially the second set right after the first two swing rolls). But I was able to stay on beat with the music and I knew the steps. We then ran it partnered and it was not so great. I felt very stiff and kinda scared. I think I mentioned before that partnering really isn't my jam and I think it shows a bit. It was okay and that first run through might have been passable but I wasn't happy with it. We ran it again at the end of the lesson and I did much better with the partnering so maybe it was awkward because it was the first dance of our lesson and I wasn't warmed up to partnering just yet. Anyway, he gave me his blessing to register to test this one. I promised I would work more on the progressives to get them bendy-er. 

Canasta Tangoz - Again, he had me run this one by myself first to see how I skate it solo. I did pretty well. His main criticism was to be a bit more sharp with my movements for this particular dance. To put it in musical terms, more staccato. We partnered this and it went well. The first time we ran it, I missed the second swing roll but the second time we ran it, it was pretty good! He gave me his blessing to register to test this one as well. Yay!

Rhythm Bluez - This was the one I wasn't expecting to be ready to test with but I surprised myself when he asked me to skate it solo and I was able to do the whole pattern with the music at speed WITH the cross behind steps! His main criticisms were to not step onto a flat when going into the second inside swing roll and to bend my knees more on the cross behind steps at the end. Also, he would like me to push all of the end steps closer to the boards. Right now I'm placing them from pepperoni dot to pepperoni dot and it should be a bit farther out. We partnered this as well with the music and it was okay. He gave me his blessing to register this one for testing as well so that was a surprise! I still have a bit more work to do to clean it up a bit but I'm feeling pretty good about it overall. 

So yeah, it was a good lesson and on December 4th, I'll be testing all three of my Preliminary Dances! That escalated quickly! Also, before my lesson when I was working on Silver MIF 3 turns, I almost had an LBO turn! It was there for a flash but it was there! This is the first time it actually turned but then I hit my toepick on the glide out and all forward momentum stopped. But...progress! It's a small glimmer of progress but I'll take it. It's not champagne worthy yet but I'm feeling a bit more hopeful about it. 

Sign of the Cross

I really should be better about updating this after every session rather than at the end of the week. There is just too much to remember. I work on a lot and by the end of the week it all gets jumbled. 

Lessonz - We began with the Eight Step Mohawks. I need to slow this down and really work on keeping my feet neat. It's distracting how I'm doing it. We worked a bit on Cross Strokes both forward and backward to try to get me used to holding and extending the free leg behind me longer before crossing over. The cross itself is nice and proper but I really need to extend and hold for much longer than I think I need to so that it looks prettier. We moved on to Power Pulls. The backward pulls need more of a rip and the forward pulls need more stamina as they tend to slow down rather than maintain. One exercise he gave me was to do each side down the length of the rink rather than switching feet at the midway point. The progress I've made on these is pretty minimal but at least they don't feel scary anymore. Finally, 3 turns. Ugh. He broke off the bottom part of the pole harness and had me do all four sets holding the pole so that there is more coordination between my upper and lower halves. This was much harder than just doing the turns on their own but once I put the pole away, the turns were easier to do. I'm sure that's the point in this particularly torturous exercise. I still don't have the LBO 3 turn. I swear, I'm buying a bottle of champagne when I finally get it. It will definitely be worthy of celebration.

Dancez - I actually feel pretty ready to test all three Preliminary Dances. There is a test session coming up on December 4th so that means that I would have to register on November 20th (a week from today). The last time I ran dances with Christopher I was able to do everything at a level where I could pass the test except for the cross behind steps on the Rhythm Blues. However, during my practice yesterday, I spent a lot of time working on just the end pattern on that dance in order to build muscle memory and maybe some confidence. By the end of the session, I was able to run the full Rhythm Blues pattern at speed including the cross behind steps! Woot! So, what I need right now is to run the full patterns with the music with Christopher partnering me. I would feel much better about registering for the test if I had some full run throughs of each of them. Hopefully, the dress I ordered from Brad Griffies will get here in time. If all goes according to schedule, I should be getting the dress about a week and a half ahead of the test so, although I wanted to stone it so I could sparkle on test day, I really don't think I'll have time to do it. I know sparkle isn't necessary for testing but that's where I get my power from, lol.

Grinding

 Just a recap of the past couple of lessons: 

Movez - I haven't really talked about Silver Moves lately but I am still working on them. I definitely feel like some moves are stronger than others but progress is happening. Since I've started learning ice dance, I feel like my forward and backward cross strokes have improved quite a bit as I feel more comfortable with my edges. The outside mohawk on the Eight Step Mohawk sequence is getting a little less scary as well. I need more speed and a more consistent cadence but the move is getting there. Spirals are coming along even though the inside spirals are clearly weaker than the outside ones. Backward power pulls feel great and the forward pulls are slowly getting stronger as well. Finally, let's talk about the 3 turns. I think overall, they are improving. I make sure to dedicate a good portion of each practice to them. However, I was lamenting to Christopher during one of our last lessons that, after a year and a half, I still do not have a LBO 3 turn. He held my hands while I did them to see if that would help but it's not a fear thing. It's a "my left leg doesn't like to do things since I added metal to it" thing. I confessed to him that, by far, this is the most frustrated and defeated I have ever felt with my skating. I'm constantly working on it and it never improves. So, he took me waaaay back to basics and is having me do a CW two-foot backward to forward turn over and over and over again until, eventually, I might be able to pick up the right foot and just do the turn on my left foot without assistance. I'll try anything at this point just to get it to happen. I cannot take the test without this move or I will fail for sure. 

Dancez - During our last lesson, we worked on the Rhythm Blues. First he had me demonstrate each of the individual steps (inside swing rolls, cross behind steps, lilts) and then he had me skate the full pattern by myself without music to see if I knew the steps before we did it together as partners. All went well but I have some hesitation with the cross behind steps at speed (especially while partnering). During our last run through of it, I did manage to get the cross behinds but the anxiety was sky high. Next time, we will run it with the music to see how it all fits together. So, as of now, I know all of the steps to the first three dances and just have some polishing up to do before I think I can pass them. My initial goal was to test them after the New Year but now I'm worried that, with Covid cases rising, we are getting close to another possible lockdown. I asked Christopher if he thinks I would be ready to test at least the first two dances during the December 4th test session and he says it's definitely possible. He would like to do some complete run throughs during our next lesson just to be sure but I feel ready. Oddly, ice dance feels more comfortable than freestyle which is really surprising. I'm picking it up pretty quickly and I feel more secure on my edges when they are in a dance pattern rather than on their own or in a field move. Maybe I was supposed to be a dancer instead of a freeskater? 

Howdy Partner!

So, I did a thing! I bought a dance dress! I think people know by now that I'm a dedicated Brad Griffies girl and probably won't wear any other skating dress unless it's made by him. So, when he got this special burnout velvet fabric in, I immediately started thinking of getting a dress made with it. He has this fabric in grey, dusty rose, black, red, and teal but I could not stop thinking of the grey! I called him up yesterday during his office hours and told him what I wanted. So basically, I'm taking the W01 dress and using the grey burnout velvet fabric on the bodice. The skirt will be the double mesh skirt shown in the picture on his website but in grey and longer for dance length. Since it's a belted dress style, I'm only going to stone the belt but I'm going to use Swarovski Crystal AB of various sizes and sprinkle it with some flat back cream colored pearls. It will be my Diamonds and Pearls dance dress. Perfect for dance and classy AF. 

Dance Lessonz - Before we started our dance lesson, Christopher wanted to discuss partnering. I've been kind of dreading this conversation because I am straight up terrified of skating that close to someone. I have a skating bubble and I try to not let people in it. One of my biggest fears is a collision on ice so I'm always aware of where people are and how close they are to me. Needless to say, skating hip to hip with a partner violates all of my skating bubble rules. I was hoping to do all of my dance stuff solo but Christopher prefers that I partner. He knows best and I trust him so I reluctantly went along with it. After getting over the initial awkwardness of it, it's not so bad. I just...it's my bubble, you know? I'm really scared of tripping him or him tripping me and taking him down too. He explained the benefits and I get it but still, this will take some time to get used to. 

Dutch Waltzez - After discussing the Killian position and doing some progressives in a circle to get used to the hold and timing, we ran a sequence of the DW. I survived and I didn't kill him so that's good news. Also, he said that it was good enough to get a pass from the judges! Woot! He said I had good timing with the counts so I think this might be okay after all. We didn't do it to the music but he was calling out the counts as we skated the pattern. I have to say that partnering allowed me to focus more on my turn out and toe point and less on the placement of the pattern because he was there guiding me. So, yay for partnering, I suppose. 

Canasta Tangoz - This dance just seems like the easiest and most enjoyable out of the three preliminary dances. He explained the Reverse Killian hold and off we went with the pattern. I think I did pretty well. He commented on how nicely I did the end pattern with the cross stroke-swing roll (my favorite part!) so I think this dance might be okay to test in a couple of months. Again, we didn't use music but he called out the counts. I was able to stay on beat so yay!

We didn't make it to the Rhythm Blues because we ran out of time but hopefully we'll look at that next time. My biggest fear with this is the cross behind steps with a partner. Scary. That's where I feel like I might trip him. I asked him if he felt like I could possibly test all three dances after the new year and he seems confident that I'll be ready by then. During our previous lesson, I told him I won't feel like an ice dancer until I've passed my Preliminary Dances. He corrected me and said "You're already an ice dancer. You have to be an ice dancer to pass the tests!" So, yeah, I guess I'm an ice dancer :)

Work on ALL THE THINGS

 I'm lumping an entire week's worth of lessons into one post. Hate me later. 

Camelz - After my camel fiasco at Fright Fest, we worked a bit on improving this. I really need to watch my leading arm so that it actually, you know...leads. I have a tendency to "swat flies" with it instead and that throws off my balance. Christopher took some video and in some of my attempts, my free leg was at the proper height so I know that I can do it when things go right. Mostly, I need to remember about a bajillion things in order for this spin to work. I think that's why I struggle with it in competition. I already have so much on my mind that it's hard to remember every detail of how to make a camel spin work. I'm not giving up on it. It will be lovely by the time I compete with it at Sectionals in March. 

Lutzez- Instead of wanting to see my flip jumps, he asked for lutzes! Whelp...I haven't really been working on these too much since I've been preparing for competitions so I wasn't really sure what these would look like. Surprisingly, they weren't the worst. After the first 2-3 jumps, I complained to him that these just feel soooo sloooow. He pretty much said "NO! That's how I want them! You are actually taking your time and not rushing for once!" LOL. He took some video of these as well and I was really surprised to see how nicely crossed in front my free leg is on this jump! Hrrm. He seems to think I'm making progress on these. I seem to think they feel awkward as hell. I really hope he's not tempted to add this to my program anytime soon. It feels gross. 

Dutch Waltzez - I requested that we spend some time working on dance. Mostly, I'm really starting to get burned out on camels and flips. I need a change of pace. I've been working on the DW so I feel like I have the steps and the pattern memorized. I just haven't been able to do on ice with the music. Turns out I've been practicing it at a much slower speed because when Christopher put the music on I felt like I had to hustle. I had the same problem that I've been having in my practices with running out of rink with the last two steps. Again, I need to make those swing rolls deeper. Something to work on. 

Canasta Tangoz - During our first dance lesson, he showed me the basic steps to the CT but we didn't spend too much time on it. I used the USFSA Dance app to learn the steps so that when he put the music on I was able to plow through it for the most part. Even though this dance is a bit more complex than the DW, I was able able to keep up better with the tempo. It's just such a fun dance. I think out of the three Preliminary Dances, this one might be my favorite, especially that cross stroke-swing roll at the end! Weeeeee!

Rhythm Bluez - We didn't spend a lot of time on this. He just walked me through the pattern and talked to me about practicing the lilt action. My brain exploded when he showed me how to do the cross behind steps. I really need to spend some time getting comfortable with those. It just seems like a great way to trip myself. 

2020 Fort Collins Fright Fest

I competed at Fright Fest and oh man was that an experience. Ok guys, it was straight up blizzarding outside the whole day. The drive up to Fort Collins wasn't terrible (mostly because my husband drove) but the way back home was treacherous with whiteout conditions most of the way. Regardless of the frightful weather, a good time was had by all. Here is my recap: 

Practice Ice - I signed up for a 15 minute practice session a few hours before I competed so I could get my legs under me. Unfortunately, my legs were nowhere near under me. I was skating well until I started warming up my flip jumps. I fell on almost every.single.one. Coach Katie was there to talk me through it and thankfully she had spoken to Christopher because at one point she said "what are the two things Christopher told you to remember about the flip jump?" In my anxious panic, I forgot to pick in far behind and draw in and I forgot to keep my chest up. Remembering those things, my flip improved slightly. I'm really thankful that although Christopher couldn't be there, Katie was a lovely substitute. She kept me calm and she coached me well. She was great! I did some lovely camels and scratch spins to finish out the time I had left and before I knew it, my fifteen minutes were up. 

Waiting - There was about a two hour wait until my actual competition event so hubby and I waited in the cold, cold, car and played Uno until it was time to go back in. If it weren't for Covid, I would have happily watched the skaters competing in the events before mine. Alas, car time it was. 

Stations- There were a few stations set up for us to keep our group separate from the other competitors so when we entered the arena, we went to station #1 off ice warm up. I did some dynamic stretching and talked with the other ladies I was competing with before we were ushered in to station #2 locker room skates on. Six of us were crammed in a tiny locker room to put our skates on before getting on the ice for our on-ice warm up. During my short warm up I did some nice camel spins and felt pretty confident that I would get a nice camel when it mattered most. Everything felt great. I was ready to go! 

Competition Time! - I was the second skater out of our group so I was still pretty fresh from the warm up. As the first skater was competing, I had some time to talk to Coach Katie. She gave me a nice pep talk and reminded me of my strengths. I think the biggest boost to my self-esteem was when she told me that I "look like an actual figure skater." I thanked her and before I went on I told myself that "this is for Daisy." I don't think I admitted this here yet but I'm skating this program in memory of a very special kitty I loved and lost. We lost her 4 years ago but I think about her all the time. She was sick and we did all we could to fix her but eventually we had to let her go. I took my starting position and then the music started. Everything went really well. The flip jump landed but I had a bit of trouble on the camel. I got about two revs in before I got a little pitched forward and lost it. The only thing I could do to recover it was to do a change foot into a backspin (which only got two revs because I lost some momentum). Although it was a huge mistake to me, I think the judges thought it was supposed to be a camel-backspin so it might have worked in my favor. My final scratch spin was perfectly centered with arms overhead and had about 9 revs. I wanted to prove to them that I can spin. I ended up getting first place (WOOT!). I feel like there was one other lady who skated better than me but her ordinals didn't reflect that for some reason. Out of five judges, I had 3 first place ordinals. I did better than I thought. My gold medal is pretty! It's Halloween themed and the medal part is a glittery pumpkin! All of us skated so well!

Here is the video. Please excuse the quality. There were no professional videographers so we had to make do: 

Getting There

 Lesson today! Since Fright Fest is coming up pretty soon, we spent the whole lesson looking at the flip jump and the camel and then with the rest of the time we had, I ran the whole program. 

Flipz - I have three years of bad habits with this jump and it's killing me! I really thought that once I got through the fear barrier with this it would be smooth sailing from then on. Oh, how wrong I was! Although I land the jump almost every single time, my entrances are a bit rushed and frantic. We worked on getting my entrance to the flip as good as my entrance to the half flip. It's getting there though. I'm not seeing the progress day-to-day but I know progress is happening. It's still really frustrating though. 

Camelz - I told Christopher that I feel like I am making noticeable progress on this so of course he wanted to see it. As much progress as I think I've made, there is still so much work to be done. Yeah, I'm getting an extra revolution, but my free leg is just below hip height so it's not exactly that perfect T position that I should be getting. He also changed my head position a bit on the windup. Overall, I'm getting it more times than not. I'm on the right path.

Programz - I ran the whole program and guess what? It was pretty good! My jumps landed and my spins spun. I even got some applause from Christopher when I was done! If I skate like this for Fright Fest. I think I'll do well. w00t!

Dancez - Lesson aside, I had some time to work on the Dutch Waltz. I have the pattern memorized and I feel like I'm skating it well enough. The problem is that I feel like I'm running out of rink at the end of the sequence particularly with the last two steps. I'm getting really close to the boards. An ice dancer friend of mine said that that's fine (yay for using ALL THE RINK!) but just make my swing rolls deeper and I won't be so crammed at the ends. Cool. I'm looking forward to Christopher looking at the progress I've made on this and I'm really excited to learn the Canasta Tango. I know this may be a little overambitious but it would be really cool if I could learn and test all three preliminary dances sometime after the new year and it would really really cool if I could get them up to snuff enough to maybe compete with them at Sectionals in March. I'm really diggin' my decision to learn ice dance. It's a nice change of pace and I can already see improvements in my edges, especially my forward cross strokes.

Dancing!

 Lesson today and during my practice before the lesson I did camel after camel after camel. They felt really good today and I was able to repeat some of the success I had when I worked with Coach Katie on these over the weekend. Because I was camel'd out, Christopher suggested learning some ice dance today! Yay!

Dutch Waltz - We began with some basic dance prep for the Dutch Waltz. He had me do some swing rolls, progressives, and get the feeling of the up-down movement on a circle. Once he was satisfied with my progress on these basic movements, he taught me the steps to the Dutch Waltz. I actually did alright! Not gonna lie, I feel pretty comfortable with dance. I grew up as a musician so counting beats is familiar territory for me and I like that I can add movement to the counts. It's all very prescribed and predictable. When you have anxiety as badly as I do, knowing what will happen and when feels very safe. 

He suggested that I download the USFSA Dance app to study when I'm not on the ice. I already have the USFSA Free Skate 1-6 app and I still refer to it periodically when I need a more detailed description of things so I know that the Dance app will be helpful as well. I downloaded it as soon as I got home and OMG, YES! I love it! It only has the first 6 dances but I really like how it breaks down each movement for each dance and has video demonstrations. It also has the pattern diagrams and five variations of cheesy music to select for each dance. It was $2.99 in the app store and well worth it for what you get. Highly recommend. 

I told Christopher that I'm serious about wanting to eventually test in Ice Dance and he thinks this will help my overall skating so he's on board with it. It helps that I have a coach who does it all (he's a triple Gold Medalist in Moves, Free Skate, and Dance) so I don't need to go to anyone else to learn this stuff. 

I'm already looking at dresses for testing! 

EPIC Lesson

This morning I drove up to Fort Collins to meet and have a lesson with the coach I'll be borrowing for Fright Fest. It was a great experience!

First, Coach Katie was lovely to work with! So positive and encouraging while also being real with me about some of the things I struggle with. Before she saw me skate, she had me map out for her my entire program so she could get a sense of what elements I'm doing and where they will go. It was also a sneaky way of getting me to visualize my entire program on unfamiliar ice. And this ice just so happens to be the very ice I'll be skating on for Fright Fest so I now know where the judges will sit, where I get on the ice, which way to face, and where to exit the ice. Really helpful for calming my nerves. I always like a plan. 

The biggest takeaway from our lesson is that she helped me a lot with expression. I confessed to her that, although my music is very emotional, I'm having a hard time expressing that emotion because I'm so focused on the elements. She had me skate my step sequence and noticed that I looked down at the ice the whole time (I know I do this and I still keep doing it, ugh!). She had me do it again but this time she wanted me to look up and out for the entirety of the sequence. DO NOT LOOK DOWN! Not even once! Because I'm so used to looking at the ice, it almost felt like I was skating blindly but I put my trust in my skills and got through it. She said the difference in the presentation was exponentially better! She also pointed out some other moments in my program where I can express my emotions and make eye contact with the judges. 

It was a productive session and I'm glad she made time for me to work on some of these things before the competition. She also gave me some tips for my camel spin and I had a bit of an "ah ha!" moment with it. It wasn't anything earth shattering but it made enough of a difference in my spin that I can consistently eek out an extra revolution. Basically, I just need to twist my torso more on the windup and look opposite of where I'm going right before I step forward on the entry edge. That allows me to get a bit more power on the entry edge and hook. 

I feel different about this competition. Normally, I overanalyze and overthink everything right up until the moment I step onto competition ice. I actually haven't even been thinking too much about this competition at all. Although it's important to do well for the sake of points for the Series, it's more important that I skate my best and I'm feeling pretty good about the progress I've been making these past four weeks. I'm ready!

Lutzes, and camels, and Axels, OH MY!

 It's been a week since I last updated. My apologies. My 17 years young kitty has been rushed to the emergency vet so many times this past week and we still aren't entirely sure what might be wrong with her. Send positive vibes her way if you're reading this. She's my whole world and I'll be wrecked if I lose her. Skating has been a nice distraction and I've been hyper-focused on one thing in particular - the Axel! More on that later. 

Movez - This past week, we mostly spent our time looking at the power pulls and backward 3 turns. The LBO 3 turn is still getting worked on yet it is still not happening. I was able to get some progress on it at the boards. My biggest issue with this turn is not ending up on the proper part of the blade right after the turn so I always come to a complete stop after turning. I'm able to get some glide out by the boards and that little bit of something is better than all the nothing I've been experiencing with this bastard of a turn so far. I'll keep plugging away at it. 

Spinz - So.Many.Camelz! During yesterday's lesson, I was able to get multiple revolutions so that's progress! I'm really not throwing myself into this spin like I should and then when I do, I let my leg drop about one revolution into the spin. So, this camel is just more effort than the spins I've been doing. For example, my scratch spin takes minimal effort and minimal movement. Once I'm in position, I can just spin and spin and spin until I run out of steam. Not so much with the camel! There is just so much to remember. I have to get a nice powerful edge going in. I have to keep my left arm out in front and let it guide me into the spin. I have to make an effort to keep the free leg parallel or higher throughout. It's just...a lot. BUT! It is improving slightly every time I try. 

Jumpz - Flips got worked on. We are back to approaching it with the 3 turn entry since my technique is slightly better that way. We've also been working on the lutz. I started with half lutzes to get the entry right and now I'm doing full lutzes. They are gross but they are happening without fear so yay! In fact, Christopher told me that he thinks my lutzes may end up better than flips. Hrmm. Finally, Axels. A couple of weeks ago he gave me the walk-through exercise to do at the blue line (waltz jump into backspin) and said once I got that down, I could move into the harness. I guess he saw some progress because he strapped me into the harness yesterday for some Axels! I really thought they would be easy to do in the harness since I know how everything works and there is no fear of falling but alas, my attempts were mostly garbage. He said I had one that was an "almost Axel" so I'm getting there. It felt awesome to be able to just really throw myself into a jump for once. I still took some spills but because of the harness they weren't as bad. This jump is terrifyingly fun!

That's about it. He said he was going to start teaching me ice dance soon and I'm looking forward to adding another thing to my already full plate :)

Peak Effort

 No lesson today so I had the entire hour to practice. I dedicated about 15-20 minutes to each thing and I feel like I made progress on some things. 

Movez - I used most of my moves as a warm-up and focused much of my energy on the backward 3 turns. My FO-BI turns got run a few times and those are mostly okay. Only a foot down randomly when I was distracted by people skating too close. The FI-BO is getting better although I still don't have the LBO turn. I spent some time at the boards trying to make the turn happen with a forward glide out. I think it's especially concerning that I am not really getting the turn to happen at the boards either. Like, is my anatomy preventing me from doing this? I'm so incredibly frustrated with this because Christopher and I have literally tried everything. Ugh. 

Spinz - During our previous lesson, Christopher told me he would like for me to do spin entry drills (at least five each session) down the blue line so I started out with these before moving into the center circle to work on spins from the wind up. I was able to get one camel spin that had an extra revolution and that was only because I tried the entry with as much power as I could muster (which admittedly isn't all that much). But hey, progress. I worked on backspins for a bit to prepare me for the Axel preps later in my practice. 

Jumpz - I started with the easy jumps (waltz, toe loop, Salchow, loop) and worked my way up to the more difficult ones (flip, Lutz, Axel, and combos). With my waltz jumps in particular I tried to stay more aware of lifting up and making an "h" with my free leg and really feeling the kick out on the landing. I then spent some time (okay, quite a bit of time, actually) at the blue line working on those preps. I was finally able to get a few where I landed and did the backspin but I only got one rev on the backspin and my free foot still wasn't crossed. I know this is a journey, though, and it's not all going to happen when I want it to. Still, the Axel jump is all I can think about now. I'm obsessed! My flip jumps are feeling better every day although they are still not exactly where I want them to be. But, more and more, I'm feeling when they are right versus when they are not so there's that. Lutz jumps were just not happening. I wasn't really feeling the outside edge on the entry and I didn't get any that were fully rotated. This is still a new jump for me so it needs a lot more time. 

Programz - I didn't run the whole thing but spot checked areas that I need improvement on - the flip jump into the camel combo and the step sequence. 

I worked my ass off today and my Fit Bit recorded proof of my efforts. It was almost an entire hour at peak cardio. I was pooped!

Axel Journey Begins

 Lesson today! We really only worked on two things: spin entries and....AXEL!!!!

Spinz - On the blue line. Over and over and over again. I never seem to hold the entry edge to my spins long enough and that is part of the problem I have when it comes to centering a spin well. So we did plenty of exercises where I start at the blue line and just hold hold hold that entry edge until it hooks on its own rather than forcing the hook to happen like I usually do. We did regular one foot spins, camels, and the dreaded sit spin. It's so much more difficult doing spins from a standstill but if I can do it well here, then my spins from a windup will be so much better. 

Axelz - After torturing me with spins on the blue line he asked to see some jumps. I asked what he would like to see thinking he would want to look at my flip jumps per usual. But I was totally taken aback when he said "let's do Axels." WHAT?! I had to ask him again because I thought I misheard him but yeah, Axels! So, back to the blue line to start some Axel preps! We worked on what the entry should look like with my arms and free leg back and then we talked about the snap. On the blue line, we worked on a waltz jump into a backspin and he said once I master this, he'll move me into the harness. About three months ago when I was getting better with my flip jumps, I put my padded shorts into retirement but I think I'll need to dig them back out again. I know with Axels, you need to be willing to throw yourself and be ready to take some spills in the process. I'm really not looking forward to the hurt of it all but I'm SO HAPPY that I have started this process! 

I'm usually pretty motivated in my practices but now I have this goal that I've wanted to achieve since my first glide on ice so I'm extra motivated to work my ass off for this. My initial goal was "Axel by 50" and for all I know it may just take me 9 years to finally get it so I'm glad we are starting now. AHHHGHG, this is so exciting! This feels better than all of the gold medals in the world!

The Aftermath

 Lesson scheduled for today (my first since the competition). I'm really thankful that we didn't talk about what happened on Saturday when our lesson started. I'm...embarrassed to talk about it? The more I think about how I skated the more I feel like I really didn't deserve my placement. The fact that I royally screwed up the camel spin combo and just did a one foot spin instead really bothers me. Today, I just wanted to focus on making things right. 

Before we got started though he spoke to me about the Fort Collins Fright Fest. This competition was just listed as part of the Adult Competition Series and I'm ready to register. However, Christopher will be out of town that weekend so that puts a kink in things. He said I could borrow a coach and he can make some calls and put me in touch with someone but since I know that my good friend Kim is also skating at the competition and her coach will be there anyway, why not get in touch with her? So I'll be reaching out to Coach Katie Holmes (seriously, that's her name) to ask if she would be willing to put me on the ice on October 25th. I'm also going to see if I can schedule a lesson with her beforehand so she knows what kind of a mess to expect, lol. Kim says she introduced me to Coach Katie the last time we skated together up in Fort Collins but that was forever ago and I don't even remember that happening. Maybe she'll remember me :) 

Movez - I confessed to Christopher that my Silver Moves have taken a backseat as I was preparing for the competition so that's all we did today. And, as a special kind of torture, we worked on the moves that are the most challenging for me (the Backward 3 turns and the forward power pulls). It's really frustrating that after an entire year of working on the back 3s, I still can't make the LBO turn happen. It is the only one of the four that won't go. So we spent the majority of the time on just that. It's not like I'm scared of the thing, it's just that I can't get it to go. When I look at the tracings it almost looks like the hook from a loop jump so clearly I'm on the wrong part of my blade. I've always had problems with my left leg since it's full of metal and screws and I feel like this might be part of the problem. It's not like I'm not trying though and that's why I'm so frustrated. Ugh. 

Practicez - After my lesson, I had some time to work on things so I spent a good chunk of time working on the two weakest elements from my program - the flip jump and the camel combo. I did some okay spins where I felt like I was better aligned and my flip jumps felt okay too. I also did a whole bunch of twizzles down the length of the rink because I tripped out of them when I skated the competition this past Saturday. I'm determined to skate a clean program in October! I want to feel like I earned my medal even if I don't get gold!

2020 Colorado Springs Invitational

Well, it's done! Before I tell you how I did, I'm going to bore you to death with all of the details. 

Overall experience - Ugh, it was weird and didn't really feel like a competition. Usually there is a buzz of excitement and hugs when you see your fellow competitors whom you haven't seen since last year. There was none of that! It was a series of check-ins at different places, the awkwardness of putting your skates on in a parking lot behind the rink, and then waiting to be called in while standing out in the 40 degree cold (although at one point my husband, my coach, and myself sat in the car with the heat on biding our time). I didn't have a chance to get excited or pumped up or get my adrenaline going. It was all just...meh. I mean, I'm thankful that the competition happened at all given the current state of public health but I still felt cheated out of the typical exciting competition experience. Sigh. 

Warm up - I signed up for a 15 minute warm up session during which I practiced all of my elements and discovered that they all had pretty much left me. Yikes! Not the best feeling right before I skate my program but it is what it is. Christopher did his best to keep me from panicking about it. 

Performance - I was the second skater to go on and oddly, I felt less panicky than I did in the warm up. I landed the first combination jump just fine (loop-toe loop) and then set up for a pretty spiral into a flip jump (which I landed! First flip jump landed in competition WOOOOT!). However, the camel combination spin did not go as planned. I think I was a little too far forward and I lost the camel. Quick thinking had me reverting to a basic one foot spin to fill the time. Next up was the choreographic step sequence which went well until I got a little too far forward on the twizzle. I recovered and did not fall (whew!). The rest of the program was lovely! My salchow was nice, the final loop jump was great, and the final scratch spin was nicely centered with arms overhead. So really, the two mistakes (the camel and the twizzle) had me feeling like I didn't achieve my goal - to skate a program I can be proud of. I got lots of complements on my overall skating and gracefulness and one person even commented on how calm I was (both my coach and I laughed at that because we know how freaking panicked I get). The other adults in my group skated their asses off such that I really thought there was no way to tell who should get first. I guess the judges thought so as well because....

THERE WAS A THREE-WAY TIE FOR FIRST! 

So, myself and two others had the honor of sharing GOLD! So yeah, I got gold but it doesn't feel like a genuine gold medal winning performance. The twizzle mistake was a fluke as I usually get it right during practice but I know my camel combo spin needs some more time to cook. I have another five or so weeks until my next competition so I am going to go full out working on this spin to get it closer to where it needs to be. 

Because of COVID, the vendor who does the videography for the competition didn't have a tent set up to sell videos and action photos. Instead, I have to wait about a week to purchase online. Once that happens, I'll go ahead and post it here. 

P.S. - I landed a flip jump in competition, guys!!! Like, this is kind of a big deal for me given how much this one particular jump has haunted me over the past 2-3 years. The technique was still a bit sloppy but I LANDED IT! IN COMPETITION! WHAT!? AHGHGHGHGHGh!

Stable Practice

Yeah, I went to the Sport Stable again. The rinks are closed on Monday for Labor Day and I didn't want to miss a practice so I cancelled my Sunday morning Pilates class and went to skate at the Sport Stable instead. It was fun, actually, because so many people from my rink were there and I got to meet one of the lovely ladies I'll be competing with this weekend. 

I mostly spent my time focusing on two crucial elements - my camel combo spin and the flip jump. 

Camelz - When I make a conscious effort to remember all of the small details that go into this spin, it comes off really nicely. If I just wing it, however, disaster ensues. So, for each spin I made sure I lead with my left arm, held that entrance, and bent at the waist. I was able to get quite a few that were nice. 

Flipz - Again, when I channel my inner Christopher and remember all of the little details, I get a nice flip jump. The main thing to remember is to look at my left arm in front of me just before liftoff. This ensures I don't rotate prematurely and it kind of slows me down too. When I did this today, I had some decent flips. 

Programz - I felt weird running my program with my competition on the ice so I decided I would only run it if she ran hers first. I don't know why I felt weird about it but I did. Thankfully, she ran her program so I felt less weird about plugging my phone in and playing my music. All went well except the spin combo (of course). I actually got applause when I finished and a compliment from another adult skater that it was really pretty. That helped me feel a little better about the botched spin. Hopefully, I got all the suck out of my system and I'll get a nice spin on Saturday when it matters most. 

Competitionz - I got the schedule for Saturday and it's super detailed, like minute by minute detailed of where I need to be and when. Crazy. I also got my skating order - I'm second skater out of five. Not desirable but I'll make do. I can look at it this way: if I'm at the beginning of our group I have the opportunity to leave a great first impression and set the bar high. I have one more practice this coming Friday and it will be my dress rehearsal. I'll be without Christopher since he'll be down in Colorado Springs with his other students so I'll be on my own. My last lesson with him was a good one and as long as I just remember all of the things he told me, I'll be fine. I just need to trust my training :)

From Zero to Hero

 It's getting down to the wire and I don't have many days left before the competition next week so I went back to the Sport Stable (ugh) for a 2 hour session. My main goal was to work on Moves, spins, and flip jumps.

Thursdayz - This was Sport Stable day and it was a disaster. I fell on EVERYTHING! It was weird. I was falling on pretty much every single jump, even the easy ones like salchow and loop. I could not center a spin to save my life. Basically, it was embarrassing. One of my adult skate buddies that I regularly train with (she's also a student of Christopher's) was there and pretty much asked if I was okay? She said something along the lines of "I see you land these jumps all the time, what's up?" I went through the whole session thinking I was just having a mental block about being at the Sport Stable. It wasn't until I got off the ice and looked at my skates that I saw the problem. I had deliberately tied my right boot (my landing leg) looser than usual because the ankle pain started up again. Normally, I can just deal with the pain on a one hour session but this was a two hour session and I didn't want my ankle to fall off so I tied it tight enough to give support but loose around the part where my ankle hurts. I must have tied it too loose and I'm really surprised I didn't figure out that this was the reason I couldn't land a jump. I felt so dumb. I essentially wasted an entire session because I couldn't complete any skills with a loose boot. Stupid. But...I did feel better knowing that it wasn't me as a skater who sucked and that it was just me the dumbass who laced her boot too loose. 

Fridayz - This was lesson day and I made sure I was laced up properly. It was one of the better lessons I've had in a while and now I'm feeling a little extra confident going into the competition next week. We started off looking at spins. He emphasized the long edge on the step forward into the spin and how I need to lean forward more (basically I should be bent enough that I could hold a dollar bill in the crease where my thigh meets my torso). I asked him if I should have a Plan B spin in case I mess up the combo spin right off the bat. His answer: there is no Plan B, just do the spin correctly the first time. Nice. We then moved on to flip jumps. When I remember all the things I'm supposed to remember, I can do a nice flip jump with good technique. In fact, I had one where I got an audible "YESSS!" from Christopher. The difference was I picked in farther behind me, had a longer draw, and kept my chest up. It felt really good! Yay! Finally, we ran the program and besides someone spinning where I was supposed to do my final loop jump it went well. I was still able to do the loop, I just had to skate around her first. It was mostly clean. The combo spin was better than it usually is but it still could have been better. Even still, I felt good about it. 

Monday is my last lesson with Christopher before the competition so it will be my "dress rehearsal." I'm excited to get to wear my dress but I'm worried about the weight of it. I added a lot of stones and the dress feels heavy to me. I don't think it will affect my jumps too much but this is the heaviest dress I've skated in so we'll see. Then I practice on Friday (the day before I compete) and I've designated that as my "relax day." I will focus on moves, spins, flips, and run my program one time but I'm not going to stress about anything if it goes wrong. When I get home, I'm going to make some tea and read. I'm not going to obsess. I've trained for this and I'm ready and no amount of fretting will change things. 

Fishing for Flips

 Lesson today! 

We started with Flip jumps because that's a never ending project. Once again, I'm rushing the entry and forcing the jump. I confessed that I'm scared to launch myself off the toe pick so to combat that he wanted to put me in the pole harness. I really didn't love being in the harness a couple of years ago when I was getting over my loop jump fears but this is a different harness. The one I was in before was a pulley harness that was attached to the ceiling. This harness is the kind that's like a fishing pole with me as the bait so to speak. I was skeptical and told him that I was more anxious about being in the harness than I was about the jump takeoff. He assured me I would be fine. I trust him. He's my coach after all. 

He got me all strapped in and instructed me to start with some easier jumps to get the feel of the harness. I did a waltz, salchow, and loop jump before I felt comfortable enough to start working on some flip preps. It's weird. Unlike the ceiling harness, this doesn't really feel like I'm in a harness at all except for the fact that he strapped me in pretty tightly so I could obviously feel that I was in a harness. I think it was because of this that I didn't really feel any more daring or confident while doing the flip jumps. I know it must have helped a little because later in my practice when I was working on flips by myself I had one singular flip jump that was like...whoa! That's what it's supposed to feel like?! I actually launched off of the toe pick! I looked around and of course Christopher's back was turned so he didn't see it but it felt amazing! I tried to do another one and couldn't. But I now know what it should feel like. Basically, if it doesn't feel like flying, I'm doing it wrong. I asked him if my flip jumps at least look recognizable as flips and he said they are. We just need to take some of the wildness out of the them.

I got the chance to run my program. It felt good but I botched both spins and turned them both into basic one-foot spins. Not good. I spent some time working on the combo spin and the scratch spin just to make things right again. My spins are the thing I'm most worried about with this program. I'm landing the jumps every time (even the flip) so I'm not so concerned for those but the spins have a tendency to go so very wrong. I've never been the best spinner and the combo spin especially is tricky for me. I have two more weeks to get a little bit more consistency on these before the competition and that really feels like not enough time. Sigh. 

I know this is a pretty program. I feel pretty skating it and I even got a compliment from a fellow adult skater saying that she thinks it's beautiful. I really want to do it justice and skate a clean program where all of the elements hit. It's just so disappointing when I mess up the spins and it takes away from the beauty of this program. I guess I just have to keep putting in the work. It will sort itself out eventually (hopefully in less than two weeks).

Blades so Sharp

 I went to see my sharpener today since it's three weeks before the competition and I want to perform at my best. I also wanted him to look at my right boot, specifically in the inside ankle area. I have a permanent bruise from where that part of the boot is pressing really hard on my ankle and I wanted to see if he could possibly punch it out. He wasn't able to do a punch since it's right where the hooks are but he did another heat molding to see if that would provide a little relief. Worst case scenario, he may be able to 3D print a tiny heel shiv to raise my foot up a bit so my foot isn't resting in that area as much. I love these boots but I think I might get a different Jackson model next time. The over abundance of hooks provides a lot of various lacing patterns but it also causes problems for sensitive ankles like mine. The heat molding did provide some relief but I'm also going to have to tie that skate a bit looser than my left so I'm not in constant pain. Alas. 

Lesson today! We started with the 8 Step Mohawk to see if there has been any improvement. The progress is slight but I'm getting there. I just have to keep at it to get it consistent. We then looked at the Cross Strokes. He didn't have anything to say about the forward strokes so I think those might be okay. He did, however, have quite a bit to say about the backward cross strokes. Mostly, I really need to lean back a bit, rotate my shoulders, and keep my feet a lot closer together on the strokes. He showed me a figures move called a Schafer Push (not easy!) and would like for me to try my best to make my feet as close to this as possible. Just when I thought I had it all figured (heh) out, he adds difficulty. After all of that, it was time to run my program. Things went okay but he made a small adjustment to the arm position in my mini spread eagle leading to the spiral. Per my request, we spent the remainder of our lesson time looking at my flip jump. When I focus on picking in way behind me, I get a better glide into the jump and it looks better overall. This jump, man. It haunts me. I can land it but figuring out the technique to get it just right is eluding me. This is such a easy jump for me to rush through but I really need to take my time with it, not overthink, and definitely not try so hard to rotate it. RELAX! 

The schedule was released for CSI and I know who my competitors are! There are five of us and it's a mix of people I've skated with before and some new faces as well. I'm excited and feel pretty ready (unlike last year at this time when I was pure panic and burnt out). I'm sad that, due to COVID, I will have to leave immediately after I skate. That means I can't watch some of my skate buddies who are competing in other events. I'm also sad that the whole competition experience will be weird. No crowding around the results together to see how we did, no hugs, no podium shots. Half the fun of competitions is to cheer on and support your friends and enjoy the experience together. But hey, at least we get to be there at all. There are so few comps going on this season so I feel lucky that I can at least be at this one.

Stronger than my fears

What a wonky week! It started with a one hour drive up to Fort Collins on Saturday for some extra practice (because my rink doesn't offer Saturday sessions anymore). I got all the way up there to discover that the rink was closed due to an ammonia leak. Sigh. No Saturday skating for me. Then, Christopher informed me that there were no Monday slots available for our lesson (because my rink drastically reduced ice time for figure skaters but gives plenty to hockey...I'm a little bitter) so we had to move our lessons to Wednesday and Thursday. 

Braveryz - I needed to get some practice in so I did a thing: I went to the dreaded Sport Stable. As I've mentioned many times in this blog, the Sport Stable is a cursed place for me. It's where I broke my leg three years ago and it's just not figure skater friendly. Their main focus is hockey and the ice shows it with deep ruts everywhere (a likely contributor to my broken bones). When I checked in, I was told I would be skating on the East rink. This is the very same sheet of ice where I broke my leg and I haven't skated on it since that day. I usually skate on the West rink when I go there for practice. So, I had a little bit of a PTSD/panic attack but then I pulled myself together and got on the ice. I must say, the ice was actually nice! I guess because they use that sheet of ice for curling they have to? It was so smooth! After spending 45 minutes on just Silver Moves, I moved on to jumps, spins, and program practice. Toward the end of my practice there was one thing I really needed to do. I wanted to land the jump that broke my leg in the spot where it happened. For closure. I lined up a loop jump and landed it and it was beautiful. Now I feel like I can finally move on. That was the last thing to mark off on my fear checklist. Achievement Unlocked. 

Wednesday Lessonz - We spent most of the lesson working on the camel/squat combo spin and then we worked on the flip jump. Both of these elements are back-to-back in my program and they are the most difficult elements I'm skating so I'm glad we spent a chunk of time looking at them. We fiddled around with my arms on the camel and that seemed to help a bit. With the flip jump, I'm still pre-rotating and forcing the jump. It's getting landed but damn, it's not pretty. I'm really just scared to vault off of my toe-pick which is exactly why edge jumps are easier for me. I need to fix this because we've been starting to work on the lutz jump and if I can't get a flip down with proper technique, there is no hope for a lutz in my future. At the end of the lesson, we ran the program and all went well until I got to the flip jump into the combo spin. I ended up doing a half flip and then the spin flopped. Ugh. The rest of the program was lovely besides that. I have three weeks left to polish this up and get it consistent. 

Thursday Lessonz - We spent the entirety of the lesson working on field moves so it was a nice break from jumping and spinning. He caught me working on the Spirals so that's what we started with. The outside spirals actually look pretty good. He said they were passable. The inside spirals need work. I'm having stability issues on these. I can do them with control but I'm taking my time getting that leg up. It needs some more time to improve for sure. After that we looked at the Cross Strokes for a bit to clean them up before moving on to the 8 Step Mohawks. My good side is nice and has good flow. The bad side is a different story. Mostly, the outside mohawk on my bad side is still a bit rushed. He gave me the pole part of his pole harness to hold onto while doing it in an effort to keep my arms from moving around too much. This seemed to help a bit as my outside mohawks improved slightly after that. Lastly, we looked at Power Pulls. Again with the "stability bar." He had me hold on to it and focus on how my upper body and shoulders are supposed to move in relation to my bottom half. Tricky.

The Reformer

 Lesson today! I didn't have any time to practice some of the changes that were made last week so I tried to cram as much into the time before my lesson as I could. Mostly, it's the spin that is causing me grief. I was able to practice it on the floor at home to get the change of positions right with the music and it all seemed easy enough but it didn't translate well to the ice at all. If I fall out of my camel, there is no way to get into the "Fourspin" position (that's what my husband is insisting I call it, lol). This will take a lot of getting used to. 

Lessonz - We started out by looking at the spin combo. It's kind of a disaster. My leg is still not high enough on the camel so I keep falling out of it and the fourspin is still gross (okay, no, I can't keep calling it that. I feel dirty). Foursquat? Is that better? With Christopher's help, I discovered that if I look into the direction of the spin instead of straight ahead, I seem to have better control over things. Also, it really helps to center the spin from the get go. Once we were done looking at spins, we took a brief look at the flip jump. It's looking better but still needs some sprucing up. Finally, we ran the program. I think I'm feeling more relaxed with it overall but it still has moments where my flow doesn't...flow. I have a little over four weeks to get it together and, honestly, I think it will be okay for the competition. I just need to put in some work and "get good." Oddly, the thing I thought I would worry about the most in this program, the flip jump, doesn't worry me at all. I've been landing it consistently and I'm not getting anxious over it. I feel like I've come such a long way with this. A couple of years ago, I was just terrified of it and now it's in my program and I'm not worried about it. That's progress! But that spin combo, tho! That worries me. 

Pilatez - Christopher suggested that I look into Pilates for strengthening my core. He knows best. He can see what I can't. So if he says Pilates will help, it's worth looking into. I signed up for a free trial class at a Pilates place near where I live and it was basically a one-on-one introduction to Pilates with me and one of the instructors. I walked in and there were all kinds of crazy looking torture devices! Like, I knew about the Reformer but I didn't know there were all these other contraptions! She had me try each one to get a feel for things. It was a lot. And it was hard! So, I became a member and now I'll be going every Sunday for a "Reformer Flow" class. I better get some abs out of this or I'm quitting, lol.

The Program is a Growing Organism

Just as soon as you get used to doing something one way, it will change. That's not a bad thing. It means your coach is trying to highlight your strengths and fix your weaknesses. However appreciative I am, my brain explodes every time something changes. 

We started our lesson today looking at jumps in isolation. Since I open the program with a toe loop-loop combo, that's what I did. After looking at it a bit, he decided to switch the jumps around so that I am doing a loop-toe loop. It seems as though when I put the loop first (it being my strongest jump), my toe loop is better too. Hey, no big deal. That's a change I can manage. 

Then we talked about the combo spin for a bit and he wanted me to try doing a camel and then bring my free leg around for an upright variation (or maybe it's a sit variation?) where I squat and rest my free leg on my skating knee. I don't know what that particular position is called but I imagine I look like the number 4. I tried it and it's not awful. I'll still need to work on it to get it stable and I need to figure out what to do with my arms. Christopher said I can keep them out to the side for now but eventually I can get fancy and do a twist or put them behind my back. I don't think I'm ready for fancy yet. 

We ran the program and it was messy. He suggested doing the step sequence on more of a diagonal and having more emotion at the end. Everything also just needs more flow. It's a lot to remember. I'll keep plugging away at it though because CSI is in like, what? Five weeks? Aghggh!

Feeling Lutzy

Agh, it's been a week since I updated this blog. I've been super busy and just haven't had a lot of time but I'll try to recap a week's worth of activity here.

Compz - I just registered for the 2020 Colorado Springs Invitational! Woo! I'm not sure what this competition will be like this year. Most of my adult friends that I usually compete with either don't have a program ready, haven't had ice time to practice a program, or are just plain scared to compete this year due to COVID. As sad as I am that they won't be there skating with me, I understand. I've been fortunate to be on the ice as much as I have but even with that, those months spent off the ice have taken their toll and I don't feel as strong as I did before the pandemic. I can only imagine how they feel only skating once every other week or so, if that. Maybe things will get better and there will be more opportunities for us to compete with each other again. Anyway, since the ACS changed their rules again, I no longer have to skate compulsories. I'm only registered for the freeskate and I'm really okay with that.

Movez - Things are starting to shape up. My forward power pulls are seeing the most noticeable progress but still have a long way to go before they are testable. Backward 3 turns are getting slightly better as well but the LBO is still not making it around. I'll keep working on it but it's super frustrating that it's not happening yet. All the other moves are keeping steady.

Spinz - Camels are becoming more consistent but still need more work. The camel-upright-change foot-backspin is coming along. I'm really happy that this spin is in my program because I have never done so many camels or backspins in my life! It's really helping.

Jumpz - All of my jumps are okay. My flip jump is getting better but I still need to work on technique on the pick & draw part of the jump. Back in January or February, Christopher talked to me about learning a lutz so we started with working on the entry using just a half lutz. I haven't really touched it since then so today when Christopher had me start working on these again, I was a bit apprehensive. My entry was good enough that he asked me to try a full lutz (*gulp*). I tried it and I didn't fall but I'm sure it was gross looking and most likely flutzed. BUT!!!! I did the thing! There was so much fear associated with the flip jump when I was first learning it but I didn't experience that at all with the lutz! I haven't landed a new jump since 2017 so this is exciting. I kept working on it in practice and it's still meh but hey, I'm making attempts and that's neat! My goal of "Axel by 50" is getting closer!

Programz - I have done some full run throughs of my freeskate without the music but today was the first time I've run it from beginning to end with the music! I made it through without any falls and I ended on time but there were some spots that were hella sloppy. My step sequence was very icky and I lunged in the wrong direction at the end before the final spin (in my defense, I've been skating on four different sheets of ice lately and I have a hard time orienting everything to where the judges would sit at each rink if they were there. It gets confusing). I have five more weeks until CSI so I think I'll have plenty of time to iron out some of these wrinkles. My goal for this competition is the same as always: stay upright and skate well enough to not be embarrassed to show the video to people. LOL

Dressz - I finished stoning my freeskate dress a couple of weeks ago and WOW! It's so damn pretty! It sparkles so hard! I had some problems with the glue bottles and was not able to stone the skirt but I'm happy for it because I think it would have been overkill. And now I have extra crystals for a future project so yay! As much as I stress out about stoning dresses, I love that I'm saving so much money by doing it myself. Also, I like to feel that with every crystal I lovingly glue onto that dress I'm putting extra love and luck into the thing :)

Pop Pop!

So, my flip jumps just disappeared today! I tried to cram and get them back during the practice before my lesson but it just didn't happen in time. Basically, they didn't disappear so much as they became unrecognizable as flip jumps. What the hell.

When my lesson started, Christopher asked me what I was working on and I confessed that my flip jumps were gone. So, we began with a review of the backspin position for jumps. I'm still having a difficult time crossing my free leg over in my backspin so we worked a bit on that and then moved on to loop jumps. Once all of that review was done, we moved on to actual flip jumps. He reiterated that the flip jump is very much like a loop jump. My brain understands how but my body just doesn't get the connection. My body keeps wanting to force the rotation leading to more rotation than I need resulting in overall panic during the jump. He broke it down for me and had me do just the pick in and draw but instead of the jump, just pop up with my free leg in an "h" position. Once that was performed a few times, he had me do the pop up exercise again but this time tag an actual flip jump on to it right after. So, more of a "pop-pop" with the second pop being the actual jump. This somehow triggered things in my brain/body connection and I was able to do some okay-ish flip jumps later in my practice. Also, remembering to keep my left arm in front helps me to not over-rotate.

We worked a bit on the toe loop-loop combo as well. Mostly working on the timing of the second jump in the combo and getting my free leg to land in front after the toe loop. I'm landing the combo okay enough but I still need to work on getting the technique better so it looks more deliberate. Again, keeping that left arm in front helps a lot.

Overall, it was kind of a rough lesson. It's like he needs to explain something to me 30 different ways in order for it to click. I really wish adult skater brains worked like the brains of some of our younger skaters. All they need is for a coach to explain something to them once and maybe demonstrate it and then they are off doing the thing. I feel like once you reach a certain age your brain just doesn't talk to your body anymore. That connection is just broken and it takes an extreme effort to learn a skill and actually have it translate into motion. #AdultSkaterProblems

And because I can't resist including a Community reference: