Friday, January 31, 2020

Music Helps

Usually, the younger girls plug their phones into the speaker during early morning practices so we don't have to suffer in silence, but 10 minutes in and it was still quiet so I plugged my phone in. Luckily, I already have a "Fun Rink Jamz" playlist created on my Spotify just in case I ever had to do this. It was nice to skate to my own music for once. I feel like it motivated me :)

Movez - I did everything! I'm not noticing improvement but then I remind myself that it's like watching hair grow. You won't see the day-to-day progress but when you compare over the long term, you see it. I just keep telling myself to keep at it and in time it will be good. Just don't give up!

Spinz - I did some scratch spins, some back spins with the leg crossed, and some camel attempts. The back spins are getting more consistent with the crossed leg but they are still not where I want them to be in terms of quality. I had a camel that had two revs and that was exciting!

Jumpz - Again, I worked on everything. My loops felt fantastic today. Floaty almost. My flip jumps were frustrating me and I think it showed. My friend Carl skated up to me at one point and said "flips are stupid." They totally are! But hey! At least my flips are recognizable to others as flips so there's that, I guess.

Lesson tomorrow.

Friday, January 24, 2020

Quiet and Sombre Test Day

It was Test Day at the rink this morning so it was quiet and sombre. I could feel the anxiety in the air as skaters put in some last minute practice time before getting on Test Ice. Test Day stresses me out even when I'm not the one testing. I wish they would at least play some music during the test warm-ups. I feel like that would help people relax. The quiet just makes things worse.

Since I wasn't testing today (thankfully), I could ease into my Friday morning practice and get right to work. I spent the first 30 minutes on Silver Moves and the last 15 minutes on Freestyle elements.

Eight Step Mohawks - Okay, these are improving especially on my bad side. I was able to do 2-3 full patterns and, although my steps were at an even cadence, my feet were sloppy. But, I was able to come back to center each time so that's good. I would still like to clean this up quite a bit but I'm happy that I'm at the point where I can practice this move in its entirety without stopping.

Forward and Backward Cross Strokes - I feel like I'm really getting into the groove with the forward strokes but I'm disappointed at how my backward strokes have lost their flow. I was doing well on them in previous practices but now they are slowing down as I go down the line. I'm not sure what I'm doing differently to make that happen. I'll have to remind myself to have Christopher take a gander at them the next time we work together.

FO-BI 3 Turns - Good side was good and the bad side could have been better. I was putting my foot down a lot on the bad side 3 turns. Ugh.

FI-BO 3 Turns - Good side was good but I would like to have better control with my arms after the RBO turn. I didn't do the bad side in the pattern but I did work on just the LBO on the hockey circle. They are getting around but I'm putting a foot down right after. This will take some time. These 3 turn patterns are KILLING ME!

Spirals - The FO spirals are pretty good and I think I'm getting to hip height on the LFO spirals. I think they are passable. The FI spirals need a lot of work on both legs. I need to work on controlling the edge more.

Power Pulls - I'm still working on the forward pulls to get them more comfortable. I'm doing them on both legs now but one can easily tell that the left leg is the weaker side. Going backwards feels great on my right leg but I start to go diagonal when I switch to the left. It's like the outside edge is considerably stronger than the inside edge so I start to veer toward the boards. But hey, considering a month ago I wasn't able to do them at all on my left leg, I'll take it.

Spins - I worked on forward spins a bit and they were ewww. The backspins weren't much better. Today was a bad spin day for sure.

Jumps - I ran through my entire repertoire of jumps including flips. Usually my loop jumps are my strongest jump but today, I just couldn't get any height on them. Toe loops felt better and my sals felt more controlled. Flips were gross. I'm not launching them like I should.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Suprise Lesson

Christopher's schedule got goofy so he asked me this morning if I would be willing to have a lesson today instead of Saturday. I mean, yeah, if you don't mind a whole bunch of suck. I haven't had the chance to practice the stuff he gave me from our last lesson on Saturday.

It actually wasn't too sucky. Seems I made progress on some things. Minimal progress but progress nonetheless. We only worked on Moves today, thankfully.

Forward and Backward Power Pullz - The forward pulls are getting better so now he wants to hear the RIP! The judges don't want to just see the move, they should be able to hear it as well. On my good leg, I was able to get a couple of audible rips going forward and a couple going backward. My left leg is still trying to figure things out so it will be a while until rips are heard. He gave me the bungee cord of doom again to help fix my arms. That was tricky and a good reminder about how important my upper body is on this move. I just can't ignore it and hope for the best.

FO-BI 3 Turnz - He wasn't done with the bungee torture because he had me work with it on this move as well. Since my good side is, well, good, he was pretty picky about the free foot and the arms. The bad side is now getting around consistently without a foot down but it feels completely different holding the bungee! It got done though. The main thing to remember is to turn my head in the direction of the turn. It makes the turn easier and less forced and it just looks better too.

FI-BO 3 Turnz - Since I told him I was still struggling to get the LBO 3 turn to happen, we worked quite a bit on this. We spent some time at the boards, we tried with him holding one of my hands, and finally, we tried with him holding both of my hands. With him holding on to me, I made the turn happen. Neat, but I still won't consider it a success until I can do it on my own. I'm so close though!

I mentioned my goal of perhaps testing Silver Moves this time next year and he seems to think I'll be ready before then. I'm glad one of us thinks so! LOL.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

Old Dog, New Tricks

So I've been playing the Skate Forever Strong Bingo and I needed the square for "learn a New Skating Skill." Christopher was happy to oblige with...Choctaws!!?? *Gulp* Admittedly, these are really pretty and I would love to be able to do them but damn, I'm not that coordinated. He makes them look really easy, though! And if I ever decide to do ice dance someday I know I'll need to know them. Luckily for me, we worked on the back sit spin so I'm counting that one as the new skill considering I did better on those (even though the back sits were still pretty stinky). Oh well, I did the thing and I'm now one box closer to a Bingo!

But let's rewind a bit! As I was warming up, I saw my doppelgänger having her lesson with Christopher and I swear to god I laughed out loud because we were dressed the same! Like, it's not even creepy anymore, it's just like "I NEED TO MEET THIS OTHER MANDI!" So when Christopher was done with his lesson with her, he called me over so he could introduce us (I swear he's in my head sometimes). So now the doppelgänger has a name and her and I can be friends now instead of her getting weirded out by my incessant staring. Yay! A new skating buddy! Or "struggle twin" :)

Christopher asked about Sectionals because the deadline to register is looming and I realized I forgot to tell him I wasn't planning on competing any more this season. I told him I wanted to work on a new program without the worry of a competition coming up soon. If we start choreography on the Devil Program now (that's the only hint you're getting about the new program until later in the future), I will have months and months and months to get it to a comfortable place. I'm excited about it, though! New music and a fresh new perspective! He's going to start cutting the music right away and hopefully we can get started on it next week.

We didn't actually do much today for the lesson but we revisited the Ina Bauer! This time, he wanted to me to do both directions and since I've only ever done it with my right leg leading, I was a bit nervous about how this would go. I didn't fall on my face so yay but I need to work on both sides equally from now on. I have a sneaking suspicion he had me do that because he has ideas for the new program. This is right around the time that we started working on the sit spin (forward and back). Again, I need to incorporate this into my future practices. Since my forward sits can only go so low due to my metal leg (lol) I think he wants to start exploring the back sit as an alternative. I can get low on that if only I can spin on it first. But, my backspins are slowly getting better so maybe in time I can do a forward upright to a back sit? Finally, he wanted to see jumps. We only looked at the loop jump which was lovely on its own but when he asked me to put it in combo with another loop, chaos ensued. Another thing I need to work on.

SO much to work on!


Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Doppleganger

There was a new girl on the ice this morning and I kept watching her because she skates just like me! We were both working on Silver Moves and we both seemed to be struggling with the same things like the backspin. She even had a very similar posture and style to her skating. It was weird! But then!!!!! Christopher gets on the ice and he's her coach! I'm wondering if she's me? She's like alternate universe Mandi. Younger and less bitter probably. LOL

Movez - God, I was THISCLOSE to getting the LBO 3 turn to happen! In fact, it actually made it around a few times but then I immediately put my foot down. I feel like this is going to happen soon. I made some more progress on the power pulls. I still hate them but I hate them slightly less now that I'm able to kinda do them. Spirals got done too. Not pretty but they happened.

Spinz - I had a backspin that had the leg crossed for two revs. It wasn't the three revs that I had on Saturday but at least I'm not regressing so I'll take it. I did some scratch spins too.

Jumpz - Meh.

I actually felt pretty good about today's practice. There were no major breakthroughs but I was able to maintain progress however slight.

On a side note, it's neat hearing everyone's new program music. I like it now but I know after a year of hearing the same music over and over again, I'll want to jump off a building.

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Starting to Click

Practice this morning was very productive! I feel like I'm starting to turn the corner on the whole backspin thing! Finally!

Movez - A good chunk of time spent here! I worked quite a bit on those stupid backward 3 turns and I challenged myself to work more on the turns that I struggle with, namely the LBO and the LBI. I feel like the LBI turns are becoming more consistent but the LBO turns still aren't...turning. However, I still consider them a success because the fear of the LBO isn't as strong. I just need one LBO turn to happen and then I think I will be over the fear hurdle on this. A month ago, I was terrified of even trying them but now I'm doing them willingly and without so much fear. Now I just need to work on the mechanics of the thing. My forward power pulls were also a bit better (even on my left leg!) and my eight step mohawks are coming along as well. Overall, I feel like I'm seeing some noticeable progress on all of my moves! Neat!

Spinz - Oh hell yeah backspin! GUYS!!! I did a proper backspin today with my leg crossed for THREE revs! I might have squealed with joy right after and, of course, I looked around to see if Christoper saw it (I don't think he did as he was busy with another student but I really hope he saw it!). It wasn't a tight backspin as my leg was crossed but it was out in front instead of pulled in next to my spinning leg but I'll take it! This is HUGE progress!

Jumpz - I did all of them except for the flip. I'll do some extra flips on Wednesday to make up for it. I kinda ran out of time since I spent so much of my practice with moves. Oh well.

Programz - Christopher approved my music choice for the new program so I guess I just wait for him to cut it and then we get to work on choreography. Exciting stuff!

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Lesson and Program Musings

Normally, Christopher and I have our lessons on Saturday mornings but he needs to finish up choreography for a Novice level skater on Saturday so he asked if I could fit him in my schedule elsewhere this week. I suggested Friday because I haven't been on the ice much with the holidays and that would give me an extra day to prepare but he suggested today instead. Yikes! That means I am having a lesson today without having practiced at all since our last lesson. I told him if he doesn't mind a hot mess, we can do Wednesday. Sigh. So, here we are...

Spinz - Luckily, he waited until the end of the one-hour session to do our lesson and that gave me some time to squeeze in some last minute practice. When he got on the ice, I was working on the dreaded backspin. I'm definitely getting the rotations so he determined that the whole leg-crossing inability is all in my head. Well, yeah. So we worked on it a bit and after awhile I was able to eek out a little over one rotation with the leg crossed. I hate this spin.

Jumpz - Moving on, we got right to work on jumps starting with the toe loop. Icky at first but got better as we worked on it some. Salchow is still spinny but with holding the 3-turn longer (and flatter) and checking my arms, it improved. I should be practicing this from just a forward 3-turn instead of doing it from the back crossovers. This will force me to slow it down some and focus on flattening the 3-turn. I can always add the crossovers later. Then he wanted to see my salchow-loop (!) and it was meh. It's been a while since I did one so I had a couple where I forgot to keep the freeleg in front for the loop. Oops. Loop jumps were next and we didn't spend too much time on these so I'm guessing they are the least awful of my jumps.

Movez - We started with the eight-step mohawks and spent some quality time working on my bad side outside mohawk. He gave me an exercise where I do the outside mohawk, cross, step forward over and over again in a circle. Basically, I just need to keep doing it until it's right. We put the whole pattern together (difficult considering other skaters were running their programs and this move takes up a LOT of space) and it was rough. Like, really rough. And I keep messing up the step forward on the final step. We worked on some forward and backward cross strokes and he commented on how the backward strokes have improved (amazing since I haven't practiced them since our last lesson!).

Programz - Lastly, he asked if I had any ideas for a new Bronze Free Skate. I wanted to show him the dress first before I told him the name of the song. He likes the dress and the concept of the music (and, you know, since he's choreographing the thing his opinion matters most). I sent him the music once I got home and hopefully after hearing it, he's on board with the theme. I'm not announcing anything yet (and probably won't for a while) but I will say that I like skating to music that feels empowering, whether it's inspired by a strong character from a book or movie or just the overall tone of the piece. I spent so much of my life not feeling strong or capable and now that I finally feel that way, I want to express it. This music has an overall message of not letting someone take/maintain control over your emotions and self-esteem. It's about reclaiming yourself and knowing you have the strength to get rid of toxic people (inspired by actual people I'm super thankful to be rid of). It's a very "in your face" kind of piece and it's totally badass. I hope coach thinks so too :)

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

2020 Goal Post

Happy New Year! w00t!!!!

Ok, now down to business! Before I set some new goals for 2020, let's review the goals I set for myself in 2019 (Spoiler Alert: I achieved 3/4 of them...meh).

2019 Goalz - The first of my goals was to take both my Bronze MIF and Bronze FS tests (and pass them). Although I did really well with the Moves test, I barely passed the Freeskate. Luckily I was allowed a reskate on two elements and I did those well for a pass but....geez, it almost didn't happen. So yeah, I achieved the goal but it wasn't the feel good kinda of win that I wanted. The second goal was to start learning Silver MIF and FS. I have really been focusing on Silver Moves in particular lately and dedicating some serious time to some of my weaker FS elements like the Flip jump and the backspin. Goal achieved! The third skating goal was to compete in 2 or 3 competitions. I competed at Midwestern Sectionals in March and then in September I was back at the Colorado Springs Invitational. I made the podium for all of my events at both competitions so I think I can consider this goal achieved as well. Finally, I set a fitness goal for myself that I think might have been a bit too ambitious. The goal was to improve my flexibility by stretching more and eventually achieve full splits. At one point toward the beginning of September, I almost got there. I was taking ballet classes and that helped a lot but then I tore my right calf muscle and any bendiness I had gained quickly retreated as I pretty much sat around and did nothing for 7 weeks while I recovered. Boo.

Overall, I did well with my skating and I have noticed progress over this past year. But, something happened with me mentally toward the end of the summer where I was starting to get really burnt out and starting to overthink things more than usual. It was bad enough that I felt like I needed to visit a therapist friend to figure out where all the skating stress was coming from. I ended up pushing and pushing myself so hard to get out of the funk that I ended up with an injury. But I learned a lot from that whole experience. I learned that it's okay to set standards and push for progress but it's also okay to take a time out and step away for a bit if I find that it's becoming unhealthy. So, when it came time to set this year's goals, I tried to be mindful of falling into the "success at all costs" trap. So, here we go...

On Ice and Off Ice Goalz for 2020!!!!

On Ice Goal 1: Continue working on Silver Moves and get them "test ready" by the end of the year. I would like to test in early 2021 so that gives me plenty of time.

On Ice Goal 2: Get a proper backspin with at least three revs (by "proper" I mean it should be in the cross-legged position). It's insane how long I've been working on this but I've had some breakthroughs lately in practice and I think this is a do-able goal now. Ultimately, it would be neat to put a change-foot spin in one of my programs.

On Ice Goal 3: Compete! I'm not setting a number because I don't want to put that kind of pressure on myself. If I compete once, cool. If I compete thrice, that's cool too. The point is to get out there and compete for the fun of it and not let the pressure of it all push me toward injury again. In fact, I'm taking the rest of this season off. Yup, I'm bowing out. I'll compete again for the 2020-21 season.

And, since the "Skate Forever Strong Challenge" started today, I'm including 3 off ice goals so I can complete an additional box in my Bingo Card (I'm kinda bummed that they are not doing a steps challenge this year. Alas). 

Off Ice Goal 1: Run an uninterrupted mile. My lungs suck and, as a result, my stamina is complete trash. I want to improve that a little! I live right next to a running track so there is really no excuse to not get out there and run a bit. I was running before skate sessions but now other skaters have started running above the stands too and, honestly? They are young and can run forever. I'm too embarrassed to run with them. So I'll run on the track! By myself. So nobody can judge how slow I am.

Off Ice Goal 2: Track my fitness progress beyond just steps. I bought a FitBit Inspire HR and I have a "FitBit for Dummies" book sitting on my coffee table right now. I think being able to connect with other FitBit users and complete challenges will also help keep me accountable. Besides, it will be nice to keep track of steps without having to take my phone with me everywhere. It will also be interesting to see how my skating translates into actual fitness data.

Off Ice Goal 3: Return to ballet. I stopped when I got injured but I liked it a lot and I miss it. I'm conflicted about whether or not I'll go back to my old studio, though. Their "adult beginner" class was filled with actual ballerinas on pointe and adults returning to ballet who clearly know what they are doing. I would like to find an actual beginners class. If I can't, I can just YouTube some ballet classes. It really helped my core strength and I feel like I have more elegant arms now but I hated that I felt so lost in every class. Plus, Christopher has already asked me if I'm going to go back. I can take a hint. I need it, I know. I'll go back but I need to find the right environment.

So, yay for being (and staying) healthy both in body and in mind. I think I started to take things too seriously and lost the joy of performing and being on the ice. I'm reclaiming that this year :)