I am one with the force, the force is with me.

This morning was my final practice before the competition. At this point, I either know it or I don't. There is really nothing I can do today to make any major changes to either program so today was just a chill day. I worked on everything, sure, but I didn't fret about stuff. I don't want to feel incapable this close to the competition.

Movez - I worked some of them but not all. They are still okay.

Compulsoriez - This is fine. Even the spiral was acceptable. I made sure not to cheat any of my toe loops today. I would rather have small and proper toe loops than big and powerful cheated toe loops so I worked on slowing down my approach a bit to avoid rushing. Spins were meh.

Programz - Mostly, I focused on the footwork sequence (especially that damn twizzle) and the loop-loop combo. Everything was mostly okay. The best loop-loop combos I did were the ones where I was relaxed (of course). Nothing has me really panicked. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm confident but I'm just really trying to stay calm and trust that my body knows what to do.

Miscellaneouz - During my last 15-20 minutes, I really just wanted to push the competition to the back of mind and work on stuff that I haven't touched in a while. I wanted to remind myself why I love skating and, I think when you work on the same thing over and over and over again, you lose sight of that. So, since I know I'm going to have to work on them pretty soon, I did some BO3 turns. My RBO is okay but I couldn't get my LBO to happen. And I didn't even touch the inside 3 turns but those will get drilled shortly after the competition. I also revisited the half lutz. I did one that was actually pretty high off the ice and it scared me a little. I was so concerned about getting on an outside edge right before I pick in that I didn't check how much power I was putting forth. Yikes. I stopped working on them after that because landing forward on my left toepick from that height didn't exactly feel awesome.

Pep Talkz - So, now the plan is to continue to relax in the days leading up my events. From experience, I know that I shouldn't drink coffee the day of, no "beast mode" music playing in my car on the way to the rink (just classical, maybe an audiobook), and DON'T OVERTHINK. I've done everything I can do to prepare for this and no amount of thinking or extra practice is going to change that. No matter what happens this weekend, I know that I worked my butt off this past year and have become an even stronger skater than I was before I broke my leg. If I win, that's nice. I'll keep moving forward. If I don't place well, then I know I have some more work to do and I'll keep moving forward. Either way, I'm moving in a positive direction with my skating. As long as I keep making progress, I'm happy :)

Dress Rehersalz

Alright! Final lesson before the big competition and I'm feeling fancy in my sparkly dress. I don't know what it is, but when you put your competition dress on, you feel like you can conquer the world! So, yeah, this dress makes me feel powerful (albeit a little naked) and I love it! Christopher approves too so, yay!

Compulsoriez - On the day of my compulsory event, I have a 30 minute unofficial practice ice scheduled so that will be a good opportunity to get familiar with the quality of the ice and orient myself to where the judges will be so I can be sure to make that all important eye contact. No program music will be played but I'll have Christopher at the boards to remind me to breathe, relax, and watch my arms on those spins. After the practice ice, I'll get another 4-5 minute warm-up right before the compulsory event starts and, since the skating orders have been posted, I know I'm skating first in my group. I'll be ready to go! We ran through the compulsory program today and I clocked in at 1:25 so at least I'm pretty consistent with my times. He would just like to see more of an outside edge on my spiral but he complimented me on my toe loop. As long as I don't rush the toe loop, I know I'll be able to do a proper uncheated jump which should earn me some extra points.

Warm upz - On the second day of competition, I have a 15 minute warm up and then the obligatory warm up right before the free skate. So we ran through the plan for the short warm up since I only get 4-5 minutes. I'll be doing one full lap of stroking with extensions and power (because first impressions count), my jumps in each quadrant of the ice, my two spins, and one section of the program (this will be my footwork sequence). That should easily take up the time allotted for the warm-up and will get rid of any jitters (theoretically). I know that I'm skating second in my group for the free skate so, even though skating early is not the most desirable, at least I know that I'll still be warm when it's my turn to hit the ice! The important thing is to breathe and not rush anything.

Free Skatez - We ran the program and I landed all of the jumps and spins and ended on time with the music. At one point, I got about a beat or two behind the music because I held my sit spin just a wee bit too long and I ended up rushing the jump sequence to catch up. When I was done and skated back to him, his main criticism was that it looked rushed in that section. Well, yeah. I think if I do this on competition day, I'll skip the stag jump right before the jump sequence to stay on track. Hopefully, I'll just do everything correctly and won't have to resort to skipping elements but it never hurts to have a plan. This is the one section where I consistently fall behind the music so I need to work on this for Tuesday.

Fluffz - Finally, we worked on how I will enter and exit the ice and my final bows. This is just fluff stuff but, you know, how you present yourself matters quite a bit so it's good to take a glance at it before the competition.

I had a good skate today! Was it perfect? No! But I skated my best and I think if I skate like I did today at the competition, I'll do alright for myself. The biggest confidence boost was Christopher saying "you're ready." It means so much to hear that he believes that I've done what I can to get to this point. Now, I need to just remember to have fun, breathe, relax, and trust my training.

Getting closer...

I dropped in on another Friday morning freestyle today because 1). I really need the extra practice and 2). All drop-in punch cards are expiring tomorrow and I have one punch left. Gotta use it! Honestly, I really enjoy skating Friday mornings! It's older teens and adults and it's relatively uncrowded. Plus, I get to skate with my friend Carl :) I like it so much, in fact, that for this next contract, I have added Friday mornings permanently. So, I'll be going from two sessions a week to three and we'll see if my skating improves a bit with the extra ice time.

Movez - Fine. These are fine.

Compulsoriez - I ran this a few times and it wasn't as great as it usually is. I'm not sure if it's competition jitters or if today was just a bad skate day but whatever it is, it sucked. It wasn't terrible, it just wasn't as clean as I usually do it. And my spins were gross today. Couldn't center to save my life! Ugh.

Programz - Mostly chunks. Since the twizzle and the loop-loop combo are my most inconsistent elements in this program, I spent extra time on those. Not sure if anything improved at all but it got worked on.

Tomorrow is dress rehearsal so I get to wear my new sparkly dress for the first time on ice. I'm not going to go full out and do hair and makeup or anything because I still need to go to work right after and, let's be real, nobody needs to see me like that. This will be my final lesson with Christopher before the competition so whatever little kinks needs to be ironed out need to get ironed out tomorrow. I do still have one more full practice session, though. I'm debating getting my blades sharpened some time on Saturday so I can get accustomed on Tuesday. Honestly, I should have done it a week ago but my blades still felt like they had some life in them still so I decided to wait. Bad idea. I was very skiddy this morning. Poop.

Maintenance

I woke up this morning to heavy fog outside. Kinda felt like I just woke up in Silent Hill. But, even though it was foggy outside, I was wide awake and ready to kick ice!

Movez - Just 15 minutes on these so they can be maintained. Since my last sharpening has worn down a bit, the Circle 8 is back to normal so yay for that! My BX-BO Edges felt really speedy today. I'm really loving these! Power Perimeter Stroking felt solid. Power 3s felt pretty good even on my weak side. Mohawks were good once I remembered to bend my knee more on that final step. Overall, I think these will just need a few weeks of polishing before they are test worthy. Once Sectionals are over, I'll give these my full attention again.

Compusloriez - Really nice! Have I ever expressed how much I enjoy compulsory moves? I do! Or, at least I will until I move up to Bronze and I have to worry about BI 3 turns and the dreaded backspin. For now though, these are probably the most relaxing part of my practice. I like how capable I feel when I do them. I worked a bit on the crossovers leading into the spiral keeping in mind what Michelle said during our lesson on Saturday and it is starting to feel a bit more secure now. I'm super ready to compete with this! Bring it!

Programz - I started off with a full run through at speed without the music. No stops! Everything got landed, spins spun, and it felt comfortable. So, I spent some time figuring out what to do if I exit my spins facing the wrong way and I think I feel more comfortable about that now too. Everything just felt okay, though. Like, I don't feel super confident about this program the way I do about my compulsory program. I feel like I'll get through it at the competition but it might be messy. I think it's the music, really. I picked a really fast piece of music and I just never feel like I can keep up with it. Seriously, my next program is going to be slower. I don't want to feel like I'm rushing through everything just so I can keep up. I want quality elements. There's less than two weeks before I debut this program at Sectionals and, I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty nervous about it.

Perspective

Lesson today but it was with a substitute coach since Christopher is performing in a ballet this weekend. I worked with Michelle today and it was really nice. I would totally work with her again! We started with a brief discussion about how different adult competitions are from the standard affairs and, with that, she reminded me to have FUN!

Compulsoriez - I ran the entirety of my compulsory program and when I skated back to her she said that it looked nice! I think she was perhaps surprised even! Her main comment was to spend more time finishing off the individual elements (hold those landings!) so that the judges have time to look down at their sheets and score. She also reminded me to not rush the step forward into the spiral. I should step forward, balance briefly with a short two-foot glide, then extend. She said wherever I look with my head is where my spiral will go so be mindful where I'm looking. We ran it again one more time while she timed me. It ended up being 1:25. Perfect!

Free Skatez - I ran it as a whole first so she could see the whole thing and then I invited her to pick it apart from there. I landed all the jumps, the spins happened, and I ended on time with the music. No falls. However, it was very rushed. She even commented that it felt like I was chasing the music the whole time. She's not wrong. I'm totally chasing the music. She reminded me to RELAX! She said that I have the skating skills, the jumps are more than I need for a pre-bronze level program, and I'm making good use of the ice. So, there is no reason to rush! Just do what I'm trained to do! We spent some time working on the loop-loop combo and her comments echoed what Christopher has been saying all along. I'm trying too hard to make the second loop happen. I really just need to put in minimal effort to make the second loop go. The first one looks good because I'm relaxed but then I tense up for the second. Also....hold that landing! She reminded me that there are moments in the program that will allow me to breathe for a second and, if I take advantage of those moments, it will help me slow down, think, and catch my breath.

Overall, I really enjoyed working with her. She was critical but not mean, she was encouraging but didn't pander, and she was just pleasant overall. It was really nice to have a second set of eyes on this thing going into the final couple of weeks before the competition :)

Holding my own

I had to drop off hospitality items for the test session this morning and, since I was at the rink so early anyway, I decided to drop in on the earliest Friday morning session. I usually don't skate on Friday mornings because I know that there are a couple of senior level skaters on that session and I don't want to feel inadequate. But I have a competition coming up soon and, feelings be damned, I need the practice! When I got there, I saw one of my adult skating friends whom I haven't seen in quite a while (the last time I saw him was back in the summer!). I honestly thought he quit or got injured so I was so relieved to see that he has been well. We just skate on opposite days so we are like ships passing in the night. It was nice to share the ice with him again. At one point during our session he skated up to me and said "looks like we're holding our own out here!" so I think we did okay today. We talked about how we are both struggling with twizzles right now so it's nice to have a "struggle buddy" out there on the ice with me! :)

I worked on all of my compulsory and free skate requirements. My loop-loop combos felt better today although I know the second jump in the combo still needs some work. But at least I was landing them and they felt like they flowed a bit better. Spirals felt good and spins were relatively centered today. I've decided not to risk a deduction in my compulsory moves by doing an attitude spin. I need to stop trying to be fancy so I'm going to do the standard one-foot upright spin. Boring, though. Speaking of compulsory moves, that program felt really nice and secure today (almost like I know what I'm doing!). If I can skate my compulsory program the way I did today, I think I'll be in good shape.

So, funny story (but also kind of sad): As I was getting on the ice, I saw a young male skater (maybe about 7 years old) whose mom was lacing up his skates for him. I made a mental note to self to stay out of his way since it looked like he might be a beginner. He gets on the ice and he was pretty amazing. Way better than me, anyway (but, like, who isn't, right?). I just had to laugh to myself a bit because here's a kid who has to have his mom tie his skates for him and he's still better than me. Ah...being an adult skater is both awesome and humiliating at the same time...lol.

Old Lady Lungs: The Sequel

I went to my typical early morning Tuesday practice session and did a lot of work on the ice. I feel a smidge better about things overall but I still have a lot of doubts (mostly with the loop-loop combo and the twizzle).

Movez - I warmed up with moves to keep them under my feet. Nothing to report here. They are holding steady.

Compulsoriez - I did many run throughs with this. The thing that is tripping me up the most is the ending. I am planning to end with a toe loop followed by two backwards crossovers and a wind up into a one-foot spin. However, my free skate program ends with a toe loop with a step forward into an attitude spin. Because they are so similar, my muscle memory keeps making me do the ending to my free skate program. I mean, the only difference is the spin, really. Technically an attitude spin is a one foot spin so I don't think I would get a deduction if I use that in my compulsory program but I'm going to check with Christopher to make sure that's acceptable. Unfortunately, I don't get to work with him again until March 2nd as he's going to be ballet-ing until then. I suppose I could shoot him an email but I don't want to intrude. Maybe I'll ask the hive mind (AKA the adult skater facebook group).

Programz - So, I did a thing. I put my phone in my zippered jacket pocket and pressed play on my music so I could have my own little band follow me around :) Since I don't have someone to press play for me, I would typically have to load the CD in, press play, and then haul ass out to the ice to pick up the program about 10 seconds in. I wanted to hear the music from the start so this was a good solution. I ran the program a few times this way (so, back to back to back) and boy was that a bad idea. I don't have the best lungs (a doctor once told me that I have the lungs of an 80 year old!) and I use an inhaler daily to keep my lungs open, quell the wheezing, and to calm my chronic cough. So, running the program like this left me completely breathless, like scary breathless. Note to self: do a run through, catch your breath and drink some water, and then start another run through. I'm too old for this! Story time! A few years ago, a professor donated a bunch of books from her personal collection to the college library that I'm head of. She neglected to tell me that they had water damage and within a couple of weeks, I had an uncontrollable cough followed by full blown pneumonia from the mold in the books. My lungs haven't been the same since. So books are my life but books also tried to kill me once so if you see me gasping for air, that's why :)