Final lesson before comp!

I may have over exerted myself practicing prior to my lesson because I was completely wiped out once Christopher got on the ice. Not so great when he wants me to run my programs and I have zero energy left to do them. Lesson learned.

We talked a bit about how my four minute warm up should go. It's always good to go in with a plan so my nerves don't get the better of me and force me forget anything. So, as soon as I get on warm-up ice I will do:

• Half lap of forward stroking with nice extensions. 
• Half lap of backward power stroking
• Three waltz jumps in a row (zamboni side)
• Salchow (scoreboard side)
• Loop jump (zamboni side)
• Toe loop (scoreboard side)
• Sit spin
• Attitude spin
• Footwork sequence from Free Skate program
• Spiral
• Jump combos

That should easily take up four minutes. When I was practicing this with Christopher, I took up three minutes just with the first three elements so he really wants me to pack as much into four minutes as I can. Skate with speed and purpose, hold those landings, and make sure each element flows into the next. 

I told Christopher that I'm meeting with one of the professional counselors at my college campus to help me with all of the overthinking, negative self talk, and anxiety I've been experiencing with my skating the past couple of months. I've been getting in my head a lot and it's affecting my performance on the ice. For example, when I fell on that first jump combo during my Bronze Free Skate Test, I mentally stayed in that spot where I fell for the rest of the program and because I was thinking about that fall, I didn't have the focus and concentration I needed to do well on any of the other important elements in my program. I want to be able to push those kinds of things out of my mind when they happen so I can still perform well. I can always worry about those things after I'm done. I meet with the counselor on Thursday and I'll write about it here on Friday. I'm really hoping he gives me some techniques to overcome those heavy thoughts. 

Feelin' Good

Today was good day! I got the stitches removed and I had a good skate. In fact, this is my 4th practice in a row that I have skated well so I think I'm on a good path now. Finally!

Warm-upz - I ran 2 laps, walked 1, then did some dynamic stretching until it was time to go downstairs and lace up. On the ice, I did my typical warm up including several passes of BI 3 turns on both sides. I'm proud to say that I've made a lot of progress with these. The RBI 3 turns are consistently good and now my LBI 3 turns have finally caught up. I didn't have a single foot down on any of them today! Once CSI is over, I'll start working on the BO 3 turns again. It's been a while. I also did a couple laps of the forward and backward cross strokes from Silver Moves. These are feeling more natural. The backward cross strokes used to feel steppy but I think I'm finding my groove with these now. I jumped a bit and did some spinning before moving on to my programs.

Compulsoriez - I ran through my compulsory routine a couple of times reminding myself to keep the speed going because I would be disappointed in myself if I did a nice routine but then got deductions for going over the time limit. The BI 3 turns were okay and a tried my best to hold and extend on those exit edges and to not rush through the whole thing. Jumps were nice and the sit spin at the end was centered (albeit still squatty).

Free Skatez - I didn't run it with the music but I did run the whole thing and it went well. I was still struggling with the final attitude spin (I'm not sure why this one element has completely abandoned me but if I struggle with it at the competition, I'll just turn it into a scratch spin). I worked on spins a bit to make sure I'm holding those entry edges and getting things centered. I had some really good spins today!

I had a chance to look at the schedule for the competition and to see who my fellow competitors are and I'm pleased to see some familiar names. There are only 4 of us competing in the Bronze Compulsory Moves event but there are 7 of us registered for Bronze Free Skate! That's exciting! It's never fun to compete alone. I'm excited to see my skating friends next week and to cheer them on as they skate their programs. This is what I love about skating: it is such a supportive community and competitions are so fun and not at all stuffy. We all cheer for each other and genuinely want our competitors to do well. We all feed off of that positive energy and come home feeling like a winner regardless of our results. So nice!

So yeah, overall, it was a pretty good practice and I'm feeling more and more confident going into this competition next weekend. I'm just going to keep on keepin' on and feeling good about overcoming whatever the hell was going on with my skating these past couple of months. I'm finally feeling like a badass again :)

How Mandi got her Groove Back

I haven't posted about the past couple practice sessions because they were unremarkable except for the fact that I'm skating better and not falling as much. I think the switch to dynamic stretching during my off-ice warm-ups was a good call! I had a lesson today (the first one since I hurt my hand) and it was actually a good lesson! I didn't feel like such a disappointment afterwards so that's nice! Progress!

Lessonz - We started by looking at my program jumps in isolation. Somehow in the last month or two, I started cheating my toe loops again, especially in combination. We worked on those a bit before running my Bronze Compulsory Moves routine back-to-back. The first run through went well but I was 6 seconds over the time limit of 1:30. He told me to do the whole thing again and speed things up a bit (I put the video below). I was able to shave a lot of time off of the whole thing and it came out to 1:25! Better! I have a tendency to rush the BI 3 turns so he reminded me to extend and hold those positions. Watching the video it really does look like I'm just rushing through it just to get it over with. The sit spin is still not low enough (at this point I'm just accepting that the hardware in my leg will prevent it from ever being more than a "squat spin") but at least it was centered and I got the end pivot done in such a way that I'm facing the judges at the end (I had my back to the judges at the end of the first run through...oops).

We ran my free skate program and that was okay too. There were no falls and I ended on time with the music. I struggled with the attitude spin at the end and turned it into a basic one-foot spin. Christopher worked with me on spins for a bit and reminded me to do them from a standstill down the blue (a torturous but effective exercise).

I think this was my first good lesson in a long time. I really hope I fixed the problem and the dynamic stretching does the trick. I have a week and a half until CSI so let's hope I can keep the ball rolling.

Surviving!

Today was my first time back on the ice in nearly two weeks and I survived! On Tuesday morning I had my little hand surgery and last night I took the bandages off to assess things and see if my hand is strong enough to be able to tie my skates. Everything looked okay and I think as long as I keep band aids on (especially over the stitches) I'll have enough mobility to grip, pull, and tie my laces. After I was re-bandaged, I grabbed my skate bag and put my skates on. I wasn't able to pull my laces as tightly as I usually do but I was able to tie them tight enough that my ankle felt stable in the boot so I made the executive decision to officially get back on the ice.

Off Ice Warm-upz - While I was off the ice, I had a lot of time to think about things and one of the things I discovered is that the way I'm stretching off ice is having a detrimental effect on my skating and may just be the source of all of my falls lately. I did some research and fitness authorities emphatically say that static stretching actually reduces performance (here's just one of the articles I found but there are more out there)! So I started thinking about this more and realized that my poor performance on the ice directly coincided with the start of my whole running and stretching routine that I've been doing! The running is fine but then I should be doing a series of dynamic stretches and save the static stretches for after my practice. So, that's what I did today and I actually had a really good practice despite my hand being sore. I ran two laps, walked a bit to cool down, did some dynamic stretching, and then some floor jumps. I don't know if it was because I've been off the ice for two weeks and had some time to rest or if it was because of this new warm-up routine but I skated well today and didn't have any falls! I'm going to keep this experiment going to see if it sticks. The more you know!

Practicez - Once I was properly warmed up off the ice, I laced up my skates (carefully) and got on the ice to do my on ice warm-up of laps, edges, circle 8, and backward 3 turns. Hell, even my backward 3 turns felt good today! Nice. After warming up and jumping for a bit, I moved right on to working on my compulsory moves routine while spending extra time on the section with the backwards 3 turns and the new jump combo (loop-toe loop). Things look okay here but I need to speed the whole routine up a bit. I feel like I'm maybe over the 1:30 time limit. Next, I worked on sections of my free skate program but was struggling a lot with the salchow-loop combo so I reverted back to the toe loop-loop combo. I'll talk to Christopher about keeping the original jump combo in there. I just feel like with only two weeks left until CSI, it's not a good time to fussing with new jump combos. On the plus side, my salchows are looking a smidge better. During our last lesson Christopher pointed out that the reason why my salchows are so spinny is because I'm rushing the 3 turn entry. If I hold the entry of the 3 turn longer that forces everything to slow down.

It felt really good to be back on the ice. I'm still nervous about the competition coming up because I really don't feel ready for it but I'm just going to keep working on things. Maybe I'll surprise myself :)

New hand, who dis?

Obviously I survived the surgery! It was a short procedure and was over before I even knew what happened. When the nurses brought me into the back to get me prepped for surgery, they asked me if I was a patient there before because I looked familiar. They actually remembered me from two years ago when I got my leg/ankle surgery done! I don't know if I should be impressed that their memory is so good or sad that I'm such a frequent visitor to this place that I'm actually remembered. Sigh.

I was more nervous for this tiny surgery than I was for my leg surgery and I asked them to please give me something for the anxiety. They gave me some "vein champagne" just before wheeling me in to the OR. As they wheeled my stretcher into the OR, I thought to myself that whatever they gave me wasn't working because I was still very much aware of things. Then I said that I liked their hats (lolz) and that was the last thing I remember before waking up.

As sore as things are right now, the pain pales in comparison to what I've been feeling this past week. They gave me a prescription for pain killers but I told them I wouldn't fill it. I get really sick when I take that kind of stuff so I'm planning on managing my pain with Motrin, reading, and kitty cuddles.

The surgeon told my husband that he was able to remove the pins without complications. The middle finger was easier to do than my index finger where they had to make a small incision and go digging for it. My fingers are bandaged up for now and I was told not to unwrap them for 72 hours. However, I need to get on the ice for Friday. Thursday evening, I'm going to unwrap myself, evaluate things, and see if I can manage lacing up my skates. I'm really nervous about how much ice time I've missed with this competition coming up.

I also thought I could get away with not telling Christopher about this whole ordeal (mostly because I've been falling so much lately and I don't want him to think of me as a liability). But he texted me late last night saying he was planning on doing a lesson with me this morning so I had to come out with the truth and tell him everything.

So yeah, the thing is done and I'm still alive and I feel MUCH better. Hopefully everything looks good enough to get back on the ice for Friday :)

The hand I've been dealt

I skated last Tuesday and my goal was to take a week off to rest and skate again this week on Wednesday since that's the start of our fall contract. However, I have the worst luck known to man and my week of rest has turned into a week of misery. That fall that I took last week, the one I wrote about in my previous post, left me very sore. Mostly, it was my knees that hurt so that's why I wanted to rest my body for a week. While I was so focused on my knees blooming into quite impressive bruises, I failed to notice how badly I hurt my left hand.

On Friday morning, I was getting dressed for work when the most intense pain I've experienced in a while shot up my left index finger and up my arm. It was so bad that it brought me to my knees (my sore sore knees). I went to the orthopedist's walk-in clinic later that day and they took x-rays and hypothesized what was causing it but because the ortho who focuses on hands wasn't there, they asked me to come back to talk to him, which I did this morning.

From a previous injury years ago, I had a surgery to fuse the knuckle joints in my index and middle fingers of my left hand. To hold those joints together, they inserted tiny metal pins which were to be removed a couple of months after the original surgery. However, when they told me how they were going to remove them (cut me open and pull them out with pliers while I'm still awake) I freaked out and never went back. So I've been living with these metal pins in my fingers for 17 years and it's never been a problem. But this fall I took last week was so hard that it moved the pin in my index finger out of the bone and now it's trying to work its way out of my finger pointy end first. Basically, I'm being stabbed from the inside. Not the best feeling. In fact, my broken leg pain from two years ago pales in comparison to the finger pin pain that I'm feeling now.

So I saw the hand guy this morning and he wants to remove the pins. I'm scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning but it's a short procedure that should only take about 30 minutes and they will give me some stuff to knock me out. Just a couple of stitches in each finger and then I'm on my way. I don't think my hand will feel good enough to get on the ice on Wednesday as planned but I contracted for Fridays as well so I think I might be fine later in the week. Mostly, I can't tie my skates otherwise I would try to soldier through and skate anyway but I need my hands for laces. Sigh.

So yeah, my one week of rest turned into this. Figures. I'm stressing out a bit because my first competition of the season is in less than 3 weeks and I really need to be working on my programs but instead, here I sit with a bandaged up hand. On the plus side, my knees don't hurt anymore :)

Can you spare some change?

Lesson today on drop-in ice and I got there extra early to run laps, stretch, and do some floor jumping before getting laced up. I was determined to take it easy today since I had some pretty rough falls on Friday. That plan went to shit.

Warm-upz - I had just finished my on-ice warm up and was working on some Silver Moves (forward cross strokes to be precise) when an upper level skater was headed backwards in my general area setting up for a lutz jump. I know she didn't see me so it was up to me to get out of her way and so I did so as quickly as I could. In my panic, I tripped on my toe pick and landed hard on both knees, both elbows, and my right hip. I went down so hard that it knocked the wind out of me. A couple of skaters, including the girl who ultimately had to abandon her lutz anyway as to not run into my flailing body, stopped what they were doing to make sure I was okay. So, yeah, not only did I hurt myself physically, but my pride was hurt from the embarrassment of it all. I told everyone that I was okay and got up as quickly as I could so as not to make a bigger scene than I was already creating but I realized soon enough that my left knee was in a lot of pain. The first waltz jump I did sent a very sharp pain all the way up my spine and so I did another one just to be sure that the pain was real (and also because I'm a masochist). Yup, the pain was so very real. Not to the point where I thought anything was broken but enough to realize that I probably hurt something. The pain lessened a bit as the minutes passed but it was still there when Christopher got on the ice for our lesson.

Lessonz - I didn't tell Christopher about the fall because, honestly, I've been falling a lot lately in our lessons and the last thing I want to do is tell him that I'm still not able to stay upright. So I tried my best to act like nothing happened and just tried to power through. If I thought I was really injured, I would have said something but I was just sore (mentally and physically) so I didn't think it was worth mentioning. We talked a bit about how the test went and I told him how disappointed I was that I didn't skate as clean of a program as I could have. He tried his best to focus on the good by saying "You got through it." I mean, yeah, I did...but barely. So I brought up a concern I had with my compulsory moves regarding the flip-toe combo. It's really sloppy and I told him that I would rather do a lower level jump combo and do it well than do a combo that is worth more points but perform it poorly. He agreed and we discussed alternatives and, in the process, discussed alternatives to the opening combo in my free skate as well. So, we made some changes! For the free skate, I'll be replacing the toe loop-loop combo with a salchow-loop since I've been having some technique issues with the toe loop. For the compulsory moves, we took out the flip-toe combo and replaced it with a loop-toe loop combo. I promised him I would still keep working on the flip-toe but this will take some of the pressure off. He also worked with me on a better ending to the compulsory moves since it was never really discussed in the process of choreographing the thing. Up until today, I just assumed I would just do the same ending that I have in my free skate but, to avoid redundancy, he changed it up to something a little more unique. So, when I exit out of my sit spin, I will pick in for a sort of back pivot and end with pretty arms.

So, changes have been made that will make things a bit easier for me but I'll keep working on the more challenging elements so I am still being pushed toward progress. Hopefully, I will skate a little more safely now. I'm also going to take some time to rest. I have really been pushing myself beyond what I think I'm physically capable of and I think that might be the source of all of these falls. I skated today and was planning on another session or two during the week but I'm going to sit the rest of this week out and let my body heal a bit. I'll come back next Wednesday refreshed and ready to get back to work.