Surviving!

Today was my first time back on the ice in nearly two weeks and I survived! On Tuesday morning I had my little hand surgery and last night I took the bandages off to assess things and see if my hand is strong enough to be able to tie my skates. Everything looked okay and I think as long as I keep band aids on (especially over the stitches) I'll have enough mobility to grip, pull, and tie my laces. After I was re-bandaged, I grabbed my skate bag and put my skates on. I wasn't able to pull my laces as tightly as I usually do but I was able to tie them tight enough that my ankle felt stable in the boot so I made the executive decision to officially get back on the ice.

Off Ice Warm-upz - While I was off the ice, I had a lot of time to think about things and one of the things I discovered is that the way I'm stretching off ice is having a detrimental effect on my skating and may just be the source of all of my falls lately. I did some research and fitness authorities emphatically say that static stretching actually reduces performance (here's just one of the articles I found but there are more out there)! So I started thinking about this more and realized that my poor performance on the ice directly coincided with the start of my whole running and stretching routine that I've been doing! The running is fine but then I should be doing a series of dynamic stretches and save the static stretches for after my practice. So, that's what I did today and I actually had a really good practice despite my hand being sore. I ran two laps, walked a bit to cool down, did some dynamic stretching, and then some floor jumps. I don't know if it was because I've been off the ice for two weeks and had some time to rest or if it was because of this new warm-up routine but I skated well today and didn't have any falls! I'm going to keep this experiment going to see if it sticks. The more you know!

Practicez - Once I was properly warmed up off the ice, I laced up my skates (carefully) and got on the ice to do my on ice warm-up of laps, edges, circle 8, and backward 3 turns. Hell, even my backward 3 turns felt good today! Nice. After warming up and jumping for a bit, I moved right on to working on my compulsory moves routine while spending extra time on the section with the backwards 3 turns and the new jump combo (loop-toe loop). Things look okay here but I need to speed the whole routine up a bit. I feel like I'm maybe over the 1:30 time limit. Next, I worked on sections of my free skate program but was struggling a lot with the salchow-loop combo so I reverted back to the toe loop-loop combo. I'll talk to Christopher about keeping the original jump combo in there. I just feel like with only two weeks left until CSI, it's not a good time to fussing with new jump combos. On the plus side, my salchows are looking a smidge better. During our last lesson Christopher pointed out that the reason why my salchows are so spinny is because I'm rushing the 3 turn entry. If I hold the entry of the 3 turn longer that forces everything to slow down.

It felt really good to be back on the ice. I'm still nervous about the competition coming up because I really don't feel ready for it but I'm just going to keep working on things. Maybe I'll surprise myself :)

New hand, who dis?

Obviously I survived the surgery! It was a short procedure and was over before I even knew what happened. When the nurses brought me into the back to get me prepped for surgery, they asked me if I was a patient there before because I looked familiar. They actually remembered me from two years ago when I got my leg/ankle surgery done! I don't know if I should be impressed that their memory is so good or sad that I'm such a frequent visitor to this place that I'm actually remembered. Sigh.

I was more nervous for this tiny surgery than I was for my leg surgery and I asked them to please give me something for the anxiety. They gave me some "vein champagne" just before wheeling me in to the OR. As they wheeled my stretcher into the OR, I thought to myself that whatever they gave me wasn't working because I was still very much aware of things. Then I said that I liked their hats (lolz) and that was the last thing I remember before waking up.

As sore as things are right now, the pain pales in comparison to what I've been feeling this past week. They gave me a prescription for pain killers but I told them I wouldn't fill it. I get really sick when I take that kind of stuff so I'm planning on managing my pain with Motrin, reading, and kitty cuddles.

The surgeon told my husband that he was able to remove the pins without complications. The middle finger was easier to do than my index finger where they had to make a small incision and go digging for it. My fingers are bandaged up for now and I was told not to unwrap them for 72 hours. However, I need to get on the ice for Friday. Thursday evening, I'm going to unwrap myself, evaluate things, and see if I can manage lacing up my skates. I'm really nervous about how much ice time I've missed with this competition coming up.

I also thought I could get away with not telling Christopher about this whole ordeal (mostly because I've been falling so much lately and I don't want him to think of me as a liability). But he texted me late last night saying he was planning on doing a lesson with me this morning so I had to come out with the truth and tell him everything.

So yeah, the thing is done and I'm still alive and I feel MUCH better. Hopefully everything looks good enough to get back on the ice for Friday :)

The hand I've been dealt

I skated last Tuesday and my goal was to take a week off to rest and skate again this week on Wednesday since that's the start of our fall contract. However, I have the worst luck known to man and my week of rest has turned into a week of misery. That fall that I took last week, the one I wrote about in my previous post, left me very sore. Mostly, it was my knees that hurt so that's why I wanted to rest my body for a week. While I was so focused on my knees blooming into quite impressive bruises, I failed to notice how badly I hurt my left hand.

On Friday morning, I was getting dressed for work when the most intense pain I've experienced in a while shot up my left index finger and up my arm. It was so bad that it brought me to my knees (my sore sore knees). I went to the orthopedist's walk-in clinic later that day and they took x-rays and hypothesized what was causing it but because the ortho who focuses on hands wasn't there, they asked me to come back to talk to him, which I did this morning.

From a previous injury years ago, I had a surgery to fuse the knuckle joints in my index and middle fingers of my left hand. To hold those joints together, they inserted tiny metal pins which were to be removed a couple of months after the original surgery. However, when they told me how they were going to remove them (cut me open and pull them out with pliers while I'm still awake) I freaked out and never went back. So I've been living with these metal pins in my fingers for 17 years and it's never been a problem. But this fall I took last week was so hard that it moved the pin in my index finger out of the bone and now it's trying to work its way out of my finger pointy end first. Basically, I'm being stabbed from the inside. Not the best feeling. In fact, my broken leg pain from two years ago pales in comparison to the finger pin pain that I'm feeling now.

So I saw the hand guy this morning and he wants to remove the pins. I'm scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning but it's a short procedure that should only take about 30 minutes and they will give me some stuff to knock me out. Just a couple of stitches in each finger and then I'm on my way. I don't think my hand will feel good enough to get on the ice on Wednesday as planned but I contracted for Fridays as well so I think I might be fine later in the week. Mostly, I can't tie my skates otherwise I would try to soldier through and skate anyway but I need my hands for laces. Sigh.

So yeah, my one week of rest turned into this. Figures. I'm stressing out a bit because my first competition of the season is in less than 3 weeks and I really need to be working on my programs but instead, here I sit with a bandaged up hand. On the plus side, my knees don't hurt anymore :)

Can you spare some change?

Lesson today on drop-in ice and I got there extra early to run laps, stretch, and do some floor jumping before getting laced up. I was determined to take it easy today since I had some pretty rough falls on Friday. That plan went to shit.

Warm-upz - I had just finished my on-ice warm up and was working on some Silver Moves (forward cross strokes to be precise) when an upper level skater was headed backwards in my general area setting up for a lutz jump. I know she didn't see me so it was up to me to get out of her way and so I did so as quickly as I could. In my panic, I tripped on my toe pick and landed hard on both knees, both elbows, and my right hip. I went down so hard that it knocked the wind out of me. A couple of skaters, including the girl who ultimately had to abandon her lutz anyway as to not run into my flailing body, stopped what they were doing to make sure I was okay. So, yeah, not only did I hurt myself physically, but my pride was hurt from the embarrassment of it all. I told everyone that I was okay and got up as quickly as I could so as not to make a bigger scene than I was already creating but I realized soon enough that my left knee was in a lot of pain. The first waltz jump I did sent a very sharp pain all the way up my spine and so I did another one just to be sure that the pain was real (and also because I'm a masochist). Yup, the pain was so very real. Not to the point where I thought anything was broken but enough to realize that I probably hurt something. The pain lessened a bit as the minutes passed but it was still there when Christopher got on the ice for our lesson.

Lessonz - I didn't tell Christopher about the fall because, honestly, I've been falling a lot lately in our lessons and the last thing I want to do is tell him that I'm still not able to stay upright. So I tried my best to act like nothing happened and just tried to power through. If I thought I was really injured, I would have said something but I was just sore (mentally and physically) so I didn't think it was worth mentioning. We talked a bit about how the test went and I told him how disappointed I was that I didn't skate as clean of a program as I could have. He tried his best to focus on the good by saying "You got through it." I mean, yeah, I did...but barely. So I brought up a concern I had with my compulsory moves regarding the flip-toe combo. It's really sloppy and I told him that I would rather do a lower level jump combo and do it well than do a combo that is worth more points but perform it poorly. He agreed and we discussed alternatives and, in the process, discussed alternatives to the opening combo in my free skate as well. So, we made some changes! For the free skate, I'll be replacing the toe loop-loop combo with a salchow-loop since I've been having some technique issues with the toe loop. For the compulsory moves, we took out the flip-toe combo and replaced it with a loop-toe loop combo. I promised him I would still keep working on the flip-toe but this will take some of the pressure off. He also worked with me on a better ending to the compulsory moves since it was never really discussed in the process of choreographing the thing. Up until today, I just assumed I would just do the same ending that I have in my free skate but, to avoid redundancy, he changed it up to something a little more unique. So, when I exit out of my sit spin, I will pick in for a sort of back pivot and end with pretty arms.

So, changes have been made that will make things a bit easier for me but I'll keep working on the more challenging elements so I am still being pushed toward progress. Hopefully, I will skate a little more safely now. I'm also going to take some time to rest. I have really been pushing myself beyond what I think I'm physically capable of and I think that might be the source of all of these falls. I skated today and was planning on another session or two during the week but I'm going to sit the rest of this week out and let my body heal a bit. I'll come back next Wednesday refreshed and ready to get back to work.

Officially Bronzed

*Warning! Long post ahead!*

Test day! As you can guess from the title of this post, I passed. It wasn't the feel good kind of pass that I wanted but a pass is a pass. I'll take it. I'm just really glad it's over and I can focus on improving my skills without the pressure of a test looming over me.

Test Prepz - From past testing experience I know that I really cannot drink coffee before my test because caffeine and adrenaline is a disastrous combination. So, no coffee was had and I got to the rink with plenty of time before my practice session so I could do some walking and stretching and mental preparation. I also remembered something I read not too long ago that said eating a banana 30 minutes before a performance reduces anxiety so I brought two bananas with me; one to eat right before practice ice and one to eat when I'm done with practice so it would kick in in time for the test.

Practicez - My drop-in session on freestyle ice went well. I started with laps and edges and then ran through jumps and spins before putting the sash on and running the program. When I did run the program it went very well. All of my jumps were landed, my spins spun, and I ended on time with the music. This was just the confidence boost I needed! I decided not to push my luck so I just did laps for the remaining 10 minutes or so of my session. I was relaxed until...I fell! I fell on something so stupid! I was just stepping forward from some backward power stroking and my blade slipped out from underneath. It was a hard fall (as most unexpected falls are) and it rattled me. Any confidence I had was gone in an instant. Damn.

Testz - I'll give my rundown of the test followed by the judges comments in italics. Ugh, ok...so my worst fear happened. I botched the opening jump combo and that had a domino effect on the rest of the program. I pretty much bookended my program with suck. I fell on the opening combo and I fell on the final spin (which...what? Why? I never fall on that spin!). The one thing I was worried about with this program was the quality of my sit spin and, although it wasn't low enough (for reasons), it at least had the required revolutions. When I was finished I skated back to Christopher and basically shrugged and said "whoops." I just didn't have an excuse for any of that. It was bad. As expected, the judges asked me to reskate the toe loop-loop combo and an upright spin which I did just fine. So I passed, but it was gross and I'm not entirely pleased. There is video of this whole ordeal but I'm not going to post it to my YouTube channel because I'm not about to make that disaster publicly viewable. I tried to attach the videos here separately but blogger won't let me because the files are too large. It's for the best. It wasn't my best moment. *EDIT* Here's the link to the video if you want a good laugh. 

Judgez Commentz - 

• Karen - Total score = +1. Upright spin good control and centered. Great posture. Nice extension. Work on getting down into the sit position more. 
• Pamela - Total score = +1. Salchow didn't get off ice. Sit spin didn't get very low. Elements complete after reskate. 
• LeeAnn - Total score = 0. Nice upright spin. Weak jumps. 

Parting Thoughtz - Okay, so the whole banana trick is bogus. I wasn't relaxed at all! I could eat 12 bunches of bananas before I skate for a test and I'll still be anxious! I also tried meditating and visualizing my program before I got on the ice and that didn't really help either. So, relaxing doesn't help but neither does getting excited. I need to find some nice middle ground. When Christopher and I were sitting together on the bench waiting for the verdict from the judges, he pointed out that I definitely seem to do better at competitions. I know why! It's not that I'm any more or less relaxed. It's that the atmosphere is completely different! I'm excited to skate for my friends. I'm performing for the judges and the audience. I'm surrounded by a cheering crowd. I have a group of other skaters who are in the same boat. It's just...different. Test days are so quiet and serious and everyone is anxious. My skating is a direct reflection of the vibes around me. Sadly, there's just no way to get more exposure to testing other than to test which doesn't happen with the same frequency as competitions. So, my plan of action now is to start serious preparations for CSI next month and the other competitions I'm planning for this season. I plan on staying in Bronze for a while (maybe 2-3 years). I'm in no rush to test again. I'm glad I passed but I'm even more thankful that it's over! Onward!

Time to shine!

I had my last official practice this morning before tomorrow's test and I finally got my times! I'll be on the ice for my warm-up at 9:13am and then my test is at 9:25am. It looks like I'll have time to drop in on a freestyle session before my test so I'll skate on the 8:00-9:00am freestyle to work on some last minute things and try to get those crappy programs out of my system before I skate for the judges.

Warm-upz - I got to the rink earlier than usual to warm up. It was nice, actually, because I was able to really take my time with stretching and even do some ballet warm-ups. I ran, I walked, I stretched, I pliéd, I Rond de Jambe'd, and I did some floor jumps. If I didn't hate waking up so much, I would do this all the time! Once I was properly warmed up off the ice, I got my skates on to get warmed up on the ice. I did the typical laps, edges, circle 8, and BI 3 turns.

Jumpz & Spinz - Things are looking good here. Well, I should clarify: they are looking as good as they can. There is really nothing I can do at this point to fix anything on a major scale. I just have to hope for the best. Toe loop-loop combo was pretty good with the leg crossed in front. I only had one fall working on these. When I remember to do the push behind after I land the combo, it has really nice flow going into the backward crossovers and spiral. Salchow, toe loop, and loop jumps all look passable. I worked on spins a bit trying to get a more consistent sit spin and I had a couple that felt controlled. Attitude spins were okay.

Programz - I really wanted to run my program but there was no ice monitor so I had nobody to press play for me. Since my opening combo is right at the beginning, I didn't think I would have enough time to press play and get out on the ice in time to perform it. So, I ran through my program in its entirety without the music and I did okay. The sit spin was icky so I allowed myself a reskate on that once I was finished. I feel like this is how it's going to be for the test. My sit spin is just...not good. I am expecting a reskate from the judges. I hate that the hardware in my ankle is causing so many problems for me on this one element. It doesn't effect much of anything else with my skating but I simply don't have the mobility in my left ankle to make this spin happen. I really wish this was something I could explain to the judges before my test but, alas.

So, that's it. Tomorrow's the day. My expectations are low but I'm going to go out there and try my best. That's all I can do, right? I think it helped calm me down a bit looking at the judges sheet for this test. The elements (jumps, spins, footwork) only count for 1/3 of the score. The other 2/3 is split between how well I perform the program and how well I execute all of the in-between skating skills like turns and edges. If I remember the bigger picture instead of honing in on just the elements, it takes some of the pressure off. Ultimately, I should just go out there and have fun and skate to the best of my abilities. If I get a "retry" then I work to improve some things and then I try again. There is no pressure :)

Final Test Prep

This morning was my final lesson with Christopher before the test on Friday. Things are getting real!

Program Run Thru #1 - It felt sloppy to me and I felt like I was gasping for air about halfway through (stupid old lady lungs!). No falls and I ended on time with the music but it was meh. He had me reskate the sit spin and it was better on the reskate.

Spot Checking - We worked a bit on the toe loop which is either really cheated or I'm over compensating for the cheat by picking in too far in back of me. I need to find a nice middle ground with this. I asked him to also look at my toe loop-loop combo because I feel like I made some improvements on this. Turns out progress happened and it looks nice. I finally have my leg crossed in front for the loop!

Program Run Thru #2 - Better this time! He said the footwork had more flow so yay! I also took my time on the sit spin and was able to do one that was "passing." He didn't ask me to reskate anything but did have me skate an endurance lap right after to build up stamina.

Since I don't have the schedule for Friday yet and I don't know what time I'll be testing, I'm not sure if I can squeeze in a practice the morning of the test. Hopefully, I can skate the first session of the day and run my program a couple of times before I skate the test. It always seems like my first run through is garbage but then any that I do after that are better so it would be nice to get those crappy programs out of my system early and then skate a nice program for the judges. I still have my Thursday practice but I'm worried about getting a proper warm up the day of.