Yup! I fell. I finally got that first fall out of the way and honestly, it feels awesome! I was practicing a waltz 8 and just before the step forward and back to center, I got too far back on my blade and down I went. I sat on the ice for a bit trying to figure out if anything hurt and since nothing did (except my pride because I fell on something so easy), I gave Dustin a thumbs up, got back up, and skated some more. He told me that my skating dramatically improved after that fall. It was like I had much more confidence afterward! Ugh, I'm just glad it finally happened and I can move on from here.
Spinz - I actually worked mostly on spins because it was a crowded public session and there were a lot of little kids with walkers whose parents weren't keeping an eye on. I claimed a spot near the center and just spun. For the sake of variety, I worked quite a bit on backspins and I was pleasantly surprised to discover that I don't need to start from scratch with these. I was able to get 3-4 revs in the flamingo position and do an almost proper exit. So yeah, there's that :)
Jumpz - I did a couple of waltz jumps but I was in a lot of pain so I didn't want to do too much. These are just so tiny now. I have zero ups. I need to work on stretching more because right now, I can barely bend my knee over my ankle and I need to be able to do that to get a good take off and any kind of height.
Movez - Again, really crowded session so there weren't many opportunities to work on MIF at all. I did all four edges and waltz 8. I think the reason I fell on the waltz 8 was because I was too busy looking around trying not to run into anyone that I wasn't focused enough on where my body parts were.
I think it may be time to look for freestyle ice. The Sport Stable (where I broke my leg and where they had virtually empty public sessions) is no longer an option because they changed their schedule and now only have weekend evening sessions or REALLY early morning public sessions. I can't practice during a cosmic skate (nor do I want to) and I'm not enough of a morning person to get up that early on a weekend to skate on their crap ice (seriously, hockey ruts everywhere!). I might have to contract for freestyle ice with my home rink or with APEX when the next contract comes out. If I'm contracting, I might just get in touch with Christopher and tell him I'm ready for lessons. Eeeep.
Monday, November 27, 2017
Monday, November 20, 2017
Saturday Progress
Things are feeling better bit by bit and I am almost starting to reconsider having the surgery done. I went to Apex on Saturday and, while it was a bit crowded, I was able to work on some things and feel a bit more accomplished.
Spinz - Two foot spins are consistently getting 5-6 revs and are getting faster now that I'm more confident. The breakthrough with these was being able to enter a one-foot spin from backward crossovers. The idea of stepping forward and hooking the spin on my left foot was terrifying but when I did it, it barely hurt! And I got 7 revolutions! I was able to find my rocker right away! How's that for progress! I didn't dare try a scratch spin as it was too crowded. Maybe next time.
Jumpz - I can actually write "jump" in the plural form because in addition to the many waltz jumps I did, I threw in a side toe hop. I know, it's more of a skip than a jump but I left the ice for a split second so it counts. So yeah, I can do a waltz-side toe hop-waltz again! One thing I've noticed is that while these are tiny jumps, I'm more aware of my body parts (namely my arms) because I'm more cautious and taking my time now rather than just flinging myself into the air as I had previously done. While this is nice and I know that being aware will make me a better skater, I do miss the idea that I was unbreakable. I always knew breaking bones was a possibility, I just didn't think it would ever happen to me. Until it did. I guess I am a different skater now. This has changed me :)
Movez - I really couldn't do much in this area because there were so many people on the ice but hey, I'm getting really good at dodging people on a busy public session. Perhaps I might be ready to return to a busy freestyle for lessons! Anyway, I did many passes of FO edges and I'm feeling much more stable with my LFO edges. Since these felt better, I decided to try some backward edges. Oddly, without thinking about it, I set up for and started doing BI edges! And they happened! I mean, they weren't as lovely as they used to be but they happened! And these are my worst edges out of the four! SQUEE!
So, I'm making some progress here and I'm going to keep skating for a few more weeks and then decide for sure. I'm either going to commit to the surgery or I'm going to contact Christopher and tell him I'm ready to start back with him after the New Year. Maybe I can keep the hardware in and make this all work after all.
OH! And I ordered my RMFSC jacket! It's warm and pretty and the adult small fit me like a glove when I tried on the sample. Hopefully I'll get it before Christmas and that will give me the extra push and motivation I need to continue to work hard at recovery :)
Spinz - Two foot spins are consistently getting 5-6 revs and are getting faster now that I'm more confident. The breakthrough with these was being able to enter a one-foot spin from backward crossovers. The idea of stepping forward and hooking the spin on my left foot was terrifying but when I did it, it barely hurt! And I got 7 revolutions! I was able to find my rocker right away! How's that for progress! I didn't dare try a scratch spin as it was too crowded. Maybe next time.
Jumpz - I can actually write "jump" in the plural form because in addition to the many waltz jumps I did, I threw in a side toe hop. I know, it's more of a skip than a jump but I left the ice for a split second so it counts. So yeah, I can do a waltz-side toe hop-waltz again! One thing I've noticed is that while these are tiny jumps, I'm more aware of my body parts (namely my arms) because I'm more cautious and taking my time now rather than just flinging myself into the air as I had previously done. While this is nice and I know that being aware will make me a better skater, I do miss the idea that I was unbreakable. I always knew breaking bones was a possibility, I just didn't think it would ever happen to me. Until it did. I guess I am a different skater now. This has changed me :)
Movez - I really couldn't do much in this area because there were so many people on the ice but hey, I'm getting really good at dodging people on a busy public session. Perhaps I might be ready to return to a busy freestyle for lessons! Anyway, I did many passes of FO edges and I'm feeling much more stable with my LFO edges. Since these felt better, I decided to try some backward edges. Oddly, without thinking about it, I set up for and started doing BI edges! And they happened! I mean, they weren't as lovely as they used to be but they happened! And these are my worst edges out of the four! SQUEE!
So, I'm making some progress here and I'm going to keep skating for a few more weeks and then decide for sure. I'm either going to commit to the surgery or I'm going to contact Christopher and tell him I'm ready to start back with him after the New Year. Maybe I can keep the hardware in and make this all work after all.
OH! And I ordered my RMFSC jacket! It's warm and pretty and the adult small fit me like a glove when I tried on the sample. Hopefully I'll get it before Christmas and that will give me the extra push and motivation I need to continue to work hard at recovery :)
Wednesday, November 15, 2017
Disappointment
A member of the clinical staff at my doctor's office returned my phone call about scheduling the surgery to have the hardware out and I was told that they don't feel comfortable taking it out until six months after the surgery. This means I need to wait until January or February to schedule my surgery. In the meantime, I will have to skate in pain because I really don't want to be off the ice any longer than I have been already.
Maybe I can get some padding like my coach suggested to help ease the pressure from my skate boot. Ugh, more setbacks. I'm really tired of this whole ordeal.
Maybe I can get some padding like my coach suggested to help ease the pressure from my skate boot. Ugh, more setbacks. I'm really tired of this whole ordeal.
Monday, November 13, 2017
Experimenting on ice.
I went skating again this weekend. It was less painful than the first time and I was able to do much more but it still hurts a lot because of the hardware. I called the doctor this morning to see about scheduling surgery to get it out and am now waiting for a return phone call.
I think the biggest difference in my skating this time was more confidence. I'm still tentative and on the verge of a mini panic attack when I lose balance or almost fall but I am not as timid. I would really like to get that first fall over with because I know it will make me a little less fearful but I'm certainly not going to fall on purpose to get it done. So yeah, I was very careful this go around but definitely more speedy.
I did some forward outside edges and was able to do those competently. They still looked shaky though as I recover some of the balance in my left ankle. After doing several passes of outside edges I did a couple of waltz 8s. They were disproportionate and unstable but they happened. I guess that's a start. I wasn't able to work my way back to the center because my circles were uneven. Again, this ties into the fact that my left ankle is still so sore and unstable. The step forward onto my LFO edge is fine but the RFO step forward is really painful. Go figure.
Spins happened albeit slowly. I did some very slow two foot spins and a couple where I picked the free leg up to make an equally slow one foot spin. Ever since the surgery, I have not recovered sensation in the outside part of my left foot. The doc says it can take quite awhile for the nerves to regenerate so hopefully I will eventually get feeling back. In the meantime, it is difficult to get a sense of the where my rocker is on my left foot considering I can't feel half of it. I used to just put weight on my pinky toe but now I can't feel my pinky toe so...you know, crap spins.
I felt adventurous enough to try jumping. Mostly, I just wanted to see if I was too scared to jump after the last time jumping left me with broken bones. I did a (very tiny) waltz jump. Guess what? I'm not too scared to jump :)
Overall, it was a good practice. I'm still testing the waters so to speak and there is still a lot of pain associated with the hardware but I know as soon as I get it out, I can start to really work on getting back to where I was. One nice thing that happened during practice: a little boy was skating near me and he fell. As is my custom, I skated up to him to ask if he was okay. He said yes and got up on his own. When he was fully upright he beamed at me and said "you skate really good" and then he was off. It meant the world to me knowing that I can still "skate really good" after all I've been through :)
I think the biggest difference in my skating this time was more confidence. I'm still tentative and on the verge of a mini panic attack when I lose balance or almost fall but I am not as timid. I would really like to get that first fall over with because I know it will make me a little less fearful but I'm certainly not going to fall on purpose to get it done. So yeah, I was very careful this go around but definitely more speedy.
I did some forward outside edges and was able to do those competently. They still looked shaky though as I recover some of the balance in my left ankle. After doing several passes of outside edges I did a couple of waltz 8s. They were disproportionate and unstable but they happened. I guess that's a start. I wasn't able to work my way back to the center because my circles were uneven. Again, this ties into the fact that my left ankle is still so sore and unstable. The step forward onto my LFO edge is fine but the RFO step forward is really painful. Go figure.
Spins happened albeit slowly. I did some very slow two foot spins and a couple where I picked the free leg up to make an equally slow one foot spin. Ever since the surgery, I have not recovered sensation in the outside part of my left foot. The doc says it can take quite awhile for the nerves to regenerate so hopefully I will eventually get feeling back. In the meantime, it is difficult to get a sense of the where my rocker is on my left foot considering I can't feel half of it. I used to just put weight on my pinky toe but now I can't feel my pinky toe so...you know, crap spins.
I felt adventurous enough to try jumping. Mostly, I just wanted to see if I was too scared to jump after the last time jumping left me with broken bones. I did a (very tiny) waltz jump. Guess what? I'm not too scared to jump :)
Overall, it was a good practice. I'm still testing the waters so to speak and there is still a lot of pain associated with the hardware but I know as soon as I get it out, I can start to really work on getting back to where I was. One nice thing that happened during practice: a little boy was skating near me and he fell. As is my custom, I skated up to him to ask if he was okay. He said yes and got up on his own. When he was fully upright he beamed at me and said "you skate really good" and then he was off. It meant the world to me knowing that I can still "skate really good" after all I've been through :)
Saturday, November 4, 2017
First time on ice....again
I feel like a beginner again. Today was my first time on ice for the third time. My first time on ice was as an adult beginner in Texas in 2005. My second first time on ice was back in March of this year when I started up again after a 10 year break. Today was my third first time on ice after a break of a different kind.
The fear of falling (and failing) was real, ya'll. I laced up my skates and stepped cautiously onto the ice. I clung to the railing at first and then let go to complete a lap of forward swizzles....tentatively. To say my left leg felt stiff is an understatement. But it didn't hurt. So, I moved on to some backward ccw half pumps in a circle. This is my good side so it felt fine. When I switched to my bad side (the cw backward half pumps) that's when the pain ensued. At first it was just sore and I thought "hey, this isn't supposed to feel awesome, just power through it." But then it started to hurt for real. I got off the ice, drank some water and had Dustin talk me off the ledge. I hated that the pain had me near tears. I needed to keep it together.
I got back on the ice to try some backwards crossovers in both directions. Again, the good side felt good but the bad side...well, we won't talk about the bad side. At this point it was excruciating. My left boot is putting a lot of pressure on the area where the plate and screws are and I just can't see how I'm supposed to continue with this hardware in. It's almost unbearable.
I spoke with my coach and we briefly discussed some alternatives such as adding some padding and that's cool and all but I think this is beyond adding padding. Right now, that part of my leg is bruised from the pressure of the boot. I feel like the only option is to have surgery to get the hardware out. I promised him I would try again but I'm not feeling confident that it will feel any better. As much as I don't want to have another surgery, I think getting the hardware out is the only option for me to fully recover from this injury.
But I will say this. I was BRAVE today! Everything in my brain said "the ice is dangerous, it will hurt you, stay away" but I refuse to give up on my passion. I will not let this be the end of my story. It's going to be a long and rough road to get back to where I was but it's a road I'm glad to travel down. I got this :)
The fear of falling (and failing) was real, ya'll. I laced up my skates and stepped cautiously onto the ice. I clung to the railing at first and then let go to complete a lap of forward swizzles....tentatively. To say my left leg felt stiff is an understatement. But it didn't hurt. So, I moved on to some backward ccw half pumps in a circle. This is my good side so it felt fine. When I switched to my bad side (the cw backward half pumps) that's when the pain ensued. At first it was just sore and I thought "hey, this isn't supposed to feel awesome, just power through it." But then it started to hurt for real. I got off the ice, drank some water and had Dustin talk me off the ledge. I hated that the pain had me near tears. I needed to keep it together.
I got back on the ice to try some backwards crossovers in both directions. Again, the good side felt good but the bad side...well, we won't talk about the bad side. At this point it was excruciating. My left boot is putting a lot of pressure on the area where the plate and screws are and I just can't see how I'm supposed to continue with this hardware in. It's almost unbearable.
I spoke with my coach and we briefly discussed some alternatives such as adding some padding and that's cool and all but I think this is beyond adding padding. Right now, that part of my leg is bruised from the pressure of the boot. I feel like the only option is to have surgery to get the hardware out. I promised him I would try again but I'm not feeling confident that it will feel any better. As much as I don't want to have another surgery, I think getting the hardware out is the only option for me to fully recover from this injury.
But I will say this. I was BRAVE today! Everything in my brain said "the ice is dangerous, it will hurt you, stay away" but I refuse to give up on my passion. I will not let this be the end of my story. It's going to be a long and rough road to get back to where I was but it's a road I'm glad to travel down. I got this :)
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