"It's gonna be bad until it isn't"

 Lesson today and we got the choreographic step sequence figured out so I guess the program is about 70% complete? We just need two more single jumps and the final spin. 

Program Run Through - Before we got to work on the sequence, he wanted to see the program so far so he put the music on and I skated it. I'm really glad I practiced so hard over the weekend because he seemed mostly pleased with it so far. I still just need a bit more speed going into the Lutz combo and he told me not to be so soft with my arms going into the first spin. It was a little too sweet and pretty. 

Step Sequence - This was rough. He asked if I could do a Tango stop and a reverse Ina Bauer. Ok, so I've messed around with a Tango stop before but admittedly, I haven't dedicated much time to it so it's garbage right now. We worked on it a bit and I just wasn't getting it. I expressed my frustration and said it was awful. His response: "It's gonna be bad until it isn't." I mean, he's not wrong. Most everything I do is bad...until it isn't, lol. Moving on to the reverse Ina Bauer. I'm still not really sure how this works but I do know that my brain exploded around this point in our lesson. At some point while he was talking I did one but I didn't mean to do it. It just happened and he was like "Yes! That! Do that again" and I couldn't because I don't even know what I did. Ugh. Bodies are dumb. Finally, I told him that while I love a challenge, these things are just a bit too advanced for my level right now. Push me and give me new stuff but when it's too far above my level, it's just going to make me feel inadequate and frustrated. Later in the lesson, I told him that I really just don't want to let him down. I don't want him to think I'm one of those "I can't" skaters but I need baby steps to the more difficult stuff. I've made a lot of progress lately, but I'm just not there yet. I know I should look at it like a compliment. He wouldn't show me the hard stuff if he didn't think I was capable but I still need gradual changes instead of all at once. 

Ok, bitching aside, we actually ended up with a kickass step sequence. It's FAST though! It's go go go and there is no room for error. I have to be super dramatic since this part of the music is explosive so I need to have expression and sass for days! He didn't let me off the hook with the stops and Inas because I have a really dramatic backward one-foot stop and a twizzle-toe steps-Ina Bauer thing. But it's just a regular Ina, none of this fancy reverse Ina Bauer stuff. 

At one point during the lesson, I said "you're killin' me!" His response: "that's the goal."

Yikes.